New to Forks
by Switzerland1996
Summary: Bella isn't new to Forks... this is about Edward Cullen being new to Forks... but it's in Bella's point of view. Mature content...Drugs...Alcohol...Sex...a lot of OOC for Bella...
1. Cheating & Tetris

**A/N: So I know I started a story with this title already but I didn't want to do that anymore… ;) After you read this Review please? *bats eyes* Pretty pleaseeee?**

**Disclaimer: Not my characters. **** All belongs to Stephanie Meyer**

**This is an Edward/Bella story!**

**Enjoy ;)**

"And this class is…" I drowned out Mr. Banner's speech on chromosomes and popped in my head phones. I flipped through my playlists until I found my Biology playlist. It held all the songs I needed to feel good during that class.

Get High by Lil Wyte started to play.

I started thinking about last Saturday and was soon grabbing up my books and sneaking out the side door.

I walked down the hallway and found my locker. I dumped my books in my locker and grabbed up my bag.

I walked out of the school ignoring my books for homework and got into my truck.

Slamming the door I started my car. I drove past my house and went to the corner store. I walked into the alley next to the small store and saw Mike.

"Hey Mike," I said pulling out my wad of cash.

"You got any?" I asked.

He nodded and I said, "How much you running this week?"

"$250.00," He said.

Ouch…

I stepped close to him and nuzzled his neck with my nose. "Really Mikey? $250.00?" I asked slowly tracing my finger down his chest.

"I could…maybe knock a few dollars down," He said.

I kissed his neck and said, "That would be nice."

"What about $100.00?" He asked.

I kissed his neck again and pulled away. I pulled a $100 bill out of my pocket and handed it to him. He handed me the bag and I kissed his cheek.

"Thank you Mikey," I whispered seductively before walking back out of the alley.

I got back in my truck and drove home.

I got out of my truck and slipped the bag of cocaine I had gotten from Mike into my bra.

I walked inside and shouted out, "Charlie! Renee!"

There was no response. I grabbed a knife from the kitchen and went upstairs to my room.

I pulled out the cocaine and sat it along with the knife on my desk.

I grabbed a tampon out of my bathroom and pulled it apart until I was only holding the tube. I went back to my room and closed the door.

I sat the tube on the desk and pulled out a rock. I cut it up with my knife and then grabbed a razor out of one of my drawers. I cut it finer and then lined up 3 lines.

I grabbed the tampon tube and stuck it in my nose. I pushed my left nostril closed and sniffed hard with my right. I got the line up and was about to start the second when there was a knock at my window.

"Fuck," I mumbled wiping the cocaine into the bag. I pushed the bag into my back pocket, pushed the knife and razor behind a stuffed duck on my desk, and went to my window.

Sitting on a tree branch was my boyfriend, Eric Yorkie. I ushered him in and he sat down on my bed. I pulled the bag out from my back pocket and grabbed my duck. I ripped open the opening I had made a long time ago and stuffed the bag into the duck. I sat the duck back on top of my razor and knife.

I turned back to Eric and smiled. Eric didn't know I did cocaine. Hell he didn't know I was cheating on him with 3 different guys and every Friday I saw his brother. I was also using him like none other…

"I skipped last period. I tried to find you but I couldn't," I pouted while sitting down on his lap and wrapping my hands around his neck.

I started kissing his neck and Eric said, "I was uh in Language still. Mrs. Ogle wouldn't let me out of her sight."

I kissed up his neck, over his jaw, and planted a big kiss on his lips.

I kissed him deeper and I pulled away, "But I missed you."

I was lying through my teeth and he was so lust crazy he didn't notice.

I am manipulative but I have to be…

"I'm sorry," He mumbled.

I pulled away and I said, "I don't think you are."

He frowned and I pouted.

I pushed him down on the bed and before I could go anywhere he rolled us over.

"I'm sorry I couldn't get out of Language," He said kissing down my collarbone.

I moaned lightly and he nibbled on my ear. "Forgive me?" He asked.

I shook my head.

He kissed down my V-neck shirt and started to slip my shirt off when there was a knock at the door.

I jumped. In waltzed Emmett, my brother.

"Fuck," I mumbled.

Instantly Emmett's expression went from happy go lucky to angry as fuck.

He pulled Eric off of me by the collar of his shirt.

I burst into tears and let me tell you now, they were definitely fake.

I heard Emmett cussing out Eric downstairs and laughed quietly but kept up the tears. The door slammed shut and Emmett stomped back upstairs.

"What the fuck was that, Bella?" Emmett shouted.

I flinched; I mean he was ten times bigger than me.

"He – He the window," I said pointing to the now open window.

Realization dawned on Emmett's face and he just about turned to go back downstairs when I sobbed harder.

Damn this was getting too easy.

Emmett came over to me and wrapped me in a huge hug. He soothed me, which I didn't need, until I stopped crying.

Charlie came home soon after and I begged Emmett not to tell Charlie.

Eric didn't need to see the inside of a jail cell because of me.

Emmett agreed reluctantly and we all ate in silence. After Charlie was finished I cleaned the dishes, Renee walked in and mumbled something about waiting for her and I went to my room. I locked the door and sat down at my desk. I fished the bag of cocaine out of my stuffed duck and grabbed the knife and razor.

I dumped it all on my desk and the powder stayed in the bag. I scooted the rocks over and poured the powder on to the desk. I lined it up into two lines.

I grabbed my new tampon, I couldn't find the other, and pulled it apart. I sniffed the first line and then the second. I pushed the rocks into the bag and shoved it all underneath my duck. I walked over to my bed and lay down with a smile on my face.

I love coke.

***

When I woke up there was a rock pounding against my window.

I looked at my clock and it said 12:00 P.M. Friday.

I got out of bed and walked to the window. A boy was throwing a rock at my window. I hadn't seen this boy around. I stuck my head out the window and whisper shouted, "Who the fuck are you?"

He seemed shell shocked for a second then he whispered back, "Where's Emmett?"

I rolled my eyes. Of course he was looking for Emmett.

I held up a hand and went to knock on Emmett's door. He answered wide eyed.

"What are you doing up?" He asked.

Why is he so awake?

"What are you doing in there?" I asked.

"Nothing," he said pulling the door closer to him.

"There's a boy at my window. He wants to talk to you," I said.

He brushed past me and while walking to my room asked, "Who is it?"

"How the fuck would I know?" I asked him angrily.

Emmett walked into my room and threw open my window. He waved his hand up and before I knew it a wet boy was climbing up my tree and into my bedroom.

I glanced at my desk and sure enough my coke and knife and razor were hidden.

"Edward, my man," Emmett said patting the boy on the shoulder. Well he wasn't really a boy. He was older than me.

This…Edward….he was kind of hot. He had bronze hair, a tight wet shirt on, due to the rain, and dark blue jeans on. He was holding a case of beer and was just barely under Emmett's height. He seemed to have a nice body. Probably played a sport.

I huffed.

Grass fairy.

I stared at the two boys and folded my arms across my chest. Right under my boobs.

"Well?" I asked expectantly.

We paid each other to keep quiet about late night sneak –in-s.

Emmett reached into the package of beer and threw it at me. I caught it and tapped the top. I popped the top and chugged it down. I crushed it and handed it to the….Edward. He grabbed it and I smiled.

"Now. Get the fuck out of my room," I said.

Emmett laughed and the boy eyed me for a second.

Shouldn't he be shivering? My room is freezing and he just got out of the rain.

Weird.

….Edward….walked out of the room behind Emmett. Right before the door shut….Edward….paused for a second.

Apparently he thought better of it and closed the door.

I sighed and climbed back into bed after closing the window and locking it.

Enough intrusions.

I fell asleep thinking of how great it was that tomorrow was Friday. No school. And I was going to see my best fuck. Eric's brother.

***

When I woke up Emmett was in my room and pushing a now dry…Edward….out my window.

I sat up and then lay back down realizing I was only in my bra and panties.

"What. The. Fuck?" I asked Emmett. Slowly sounding out each word.

"Shh, Charlie and Renee are scanning the house today," Emmett whispered.

I sat upright and grabbed my duck from my desk. I pulled the knife and razor into my pocket and then I realized I was in my panties and bra in front of a 19 year old boy.

Fuck.

"Get the hell out of here," I hissed at both…Edward…and Emmett.

Emmett walked out of his room and…Edward…jumped out the window. I was shocked to see him run easily across the lawn. Did he use the tree?

Maybe he's in track.

There was no time for thinking about that. I shoved the cocaine into the slit I had on the duck.

Renee tapped on my door and then entered.

Standard procedure since I was adopted to this family. Emmett and I were adopted. When he was 15 and I was 13. Now he was 19 and I was 17. Renee and Charlie apparently adopted unruly kids. I was into drinking around 12 so I snuck drinks into the orphanage all the time. Emmett snuck cigarettes and beer into the orphanage. We were practically brother and sister at the orphanage so Charlie and Renee adopted both of us. When I asked Renee, that's what she had always been to me, Renee, why she didn't just have a baby of her own. Why she would want a bunch of unruly kids like us. She said that she had had a baby once on her own. He had died in the womb. She wanted to adopt because she couldn't stand maybe losing a baby again.

Anyways when I started living here the first week on Friday Renee had tapped on my door and entered without permission. She didn't usually do that. Then I heard Emmett yelling at Charlie to 'get the fuck out of his room.' Renee searched my room and found my cocaine. I had started that week and she was livid. She yelled, took away all my allowance, yelled some more, and eventually left after grounding me. Emmett got busted for a pack of beer in the back of his closet.

We both learned that by Friday every week we had best have our shit hidden very well or else we were going to be in huge trouble.

After I had zonked out I had forgotten until Emmett had told me this morning what else Friday meant.

Renee searched through everything. When she asked for my duck I cocked an eyebrow. She grabbed it from me and she didn't find my very well hidden cut. The cut was under his beak, which was really small so when I pulled most of the stuffing out the bag fit perfectly. She handed me the duck back and handed me my allowance.

I know it sounds dumb to be getting an allowance at 17 but they gave me $150.00 every week. Who was I to say no to $150.00?

"Thank you Renee," I said.

I heard Emmett shout, "God damn it!"

I snickered and shut my door when Renee left.

I slipped on a blue button up top and pulled on dark blue jeans. I pulled on my brown buckle up boots with a 2 inch heel and pulled on my brown coat with the fur lining.

I texted Peter, Eric's brother, and said, 'Can I come over?'

He texted back and said, 'Sure.'

I headed out the door and down the stairs when Charlie asked, "Where are you going?"

"Library, I have to get a new book. Be back in a few hours," I said.

"Few hours? It will take you a few hours to get a new book?" He asked.

"Charlie, give me time. I do things on my own. I can spend a lot of time at a library, much more than a few hours. Just text me when you want me home, okay?" I asked.

He nodded and I nodded back.

I went outside and started Emmett's jeep. He wouldn't need it for a few days…Weeks…depending on what he got busted for.

I drove over to Eric's and parked. I slipped into Peter's window and sat on his bed. 'Here, in your bedroom.' I texted him.

'Okay. Be up in a minute.' He texted back.

I smiled and pulled off my coat. I threw it on his desk chair and lay down on his bed.

Peter walked in and I smiled.

Peter had a really nice body. Flat abs and he wasn't half bad looking.

Not as good looking as…Edward…but eh…

Whoa… Where did that come from?

Peter walked over to me and kissed me deeply. He pulled my shirt over my head and unclasped my bra.

Slow but getting to the point. It's how I liked it with Peter. He didn't spend time whispering sweet nothings to me because we didn't like each other like that. We were fuck buddies…that's it.

He kissed down my neck to my taut nipples. He pulled one into his mouth and sucked on it. I moaned quietly and gasped out, "Where are your parents?"

He pulled off of my nipple and whispered against it with his cold breath, "Out of town."

He pulled the other nipple into his mouth and sucked on it, biting gently. I moaned a little louder and whispered, "Siblings?"

"Went with," He mumbled pulling away from my nipples.

I smiled. I kissed him again and rolled us over. I pulled his shirt off and kissed his neck. I went down his neck, over his collarbone and up to his ear. I licked around the rim and whispered, "I want you to fuck me so hard, I scream your name when I cum."

He smiled and I licked down his chest. I got to his 'happy trail' and twirled the fine hairs. I pulled on his yoga pants and they came down easily. I stared down at his member.

"Commando. I like it," I whispered, blowing my hot breath on to him. He shuddered and I slowly licked up his shaft.

I took the head into my mouth and swirled my tongue around it.

He groaned and I saw through my eye lashes that he had his head back and was gripping the sheets.

I hummed around his shaft taking him all the way in.

I didn't even flinch when he hit the back of my throat. It came natural.

I bobbed on him for a few more minutes and then he let out a loud moan and gasped out, "Bella!" when he came.

I swallowed it down and then he was on top of me in a few seconds. He pulled down my underwear and threw them to the side. He entered me swiftly and I gasped as he slid all the way into me. He let me adjust and then pumped slowly at first. He picked up pace and was soon fucking me.

"Uh, uh, uh, Peter. Oh fuck. Right there, right there! Yes! Yes! Oh fuck yes! Peter!!" I shouted as he hit my G-spot and rode on it. I came screaming his name. He followed soon after and he rolled off me.

We were both panting and I recovered first, of course. I stood up and stretched. My back popped and I pulled on my shirt. I slipped on my pants and grabbed my coat. I kissed him on the forehead and said, "Text me later."

He nodded and I left out his front door.

I drove to the library and saw Angela, the librarian. I walked up to her and said, "Can I have your 3 top books?"

She nodded and said she'd be right back.

I caught a few guys checking me out, which caused them to blush, which caused me to laugh quietly at their innocent gesture. If they knew I had just fucked my boyfriend's brother for about the 20th time, they'd probably take no shame in eye fucking me.

"Here are those books," She said handing me three copies from the same author.

"Thanks, Angie," I said handing her my library card. She scanned it or whatever they do at the library. Then she handed it back to me.

"Due next week, Hun," she said.

"Alright, see you next week," I said setting my old books on the check-in counter.

I drove home with three Stephanie Meyer's books in my front seat and grimaced when I noticed a car parked in Emmett's usual spot. I parked behind the car that was oblivious to getting in the way of my brother's car.

I walked up to the window and knocked on the window. A boy was sitting in the driver's seat and when I say boy I mean another 19 year old I refused to say was older than me.

He rolled down the window and he said in a thick southern voice, "What can I do for you ma'am?"

I stared at him for a second. I took him in. He didn't look right, almost as if he was in pain... "Get out of my parking space," I said staring him in the eye. He nodded his head and said, "My apologies ma'am."

I rolled my eyes and walked back to the jeep. I moved it out of the way and then…Edward…emerged from my house. The man in the car pulled out of the drive way, I pulled in, and got out right after I parked the thing. I walked up to…Edward… and said, "What are you doing here?"

"Came to see Emmett, no one answered the door though," He said.

I eyed him for a second and then went to the door. I knocked lightly and no one responded.

Wasn't Tilly home today? We adopted Tilly when I moved in, she turned 7 last week.

I tried the door and it was unlocked. I noticed…Edward…staring intently at me and I shrugged. I opened the door full blown and everyone in the room shouted, "Happy Birthday!"

I groaned and I was soon engulfed in a huge bear hug by Emmett. I turned around to the door and…Edward…was still there.

He wasn't alone now though, the boy who looked like he was in pain was standing next to him.

Okay…

Emmett slipped through the door and gave me a look. I understood, he didn't want me to rat him out. I nodded and he smiled. I closed the door and mingled with all the people in my living room.

Sister Gianna was there, along with Headmaster Father Felix. I cringed remembering all the hand smacks, lectures, and sit downs I had had with those two. I went over to them and said, "Sister, Father, nice of you two to come."

They talked to me, asked me about my 'issues' and left soon after. They had business to attend to. There were about 35 people in my living room. I greeted several kids I had been friends with at the orphanage. They looked good.

It seemed like a decade since I had seen them, even though it had only been a few years. I saw Alice and my day brightened. I walked over to her and tapped her on the shoulder. "Excuse me I am looking for room G4," I said.

She turned around with a bewildered look on her face. When she saw it was me she screamed and hugged me. "Bella! I mean G4? G4 there is no G4. Oh you're looking for D4," She said. I laughed.

Alice and I had met at the orphanage and she always had my back. She'd back me up on when I got in trouble.

I still remember the day we had met.

_FLASHBACK_

_I was looking around the orphanage when I walked into a short pixie like girl. She had black hair and I quickly apologized._

"_Excuse me I am looking for room G4," I said hoping this girl would know where it is._

"_G4? G4 there is no G4. Oh you're looking for D4," She said after she studied my paper._

_At the orphanage we got 'dorm rooms.' The Sisters there wanted us to have an experience to look back on._

"_Oh my gosh! You're bunking with me! I'm Alice," She said hugging me._

_I hugged back and said, "I'm Bella."_

_She took me to the 'dorm' which really looked like a jail cell to me. She helped me unpack then took me around to see everything._

_And everyone._

_END OF FLASHBACK_

I hugged her again and we talked.

She had been adopted by the Cullen family. They didn't live to far away from here.

When everyone cleared out Alice and I stayed. We watched movies and then she said she had curfew and had to get home. "Please! Don't leave! Stay for a little bit longer!" I begged her.

"Bella! I can't I had to be home about 10 minutes ago. Esme is going to flip a switch and Carlisle will have my head if I don't go home soon," She said.

"Charlie will drive you home," I said hugging her again.

We both got into the back of the patrol car and soon we were on a 5 minutes drive to the Cullen's mansion. It wasn't really a mansion. But it probably was.

She got out, gave me her cell, said she had texting, and walked up to her door.

Charlie drove me home and I went upstairs.

I remembered to set the Stephanie Meyer's book out on the dinner table so they knew I went to the library.

Emmett was sneaking into my window and was dragging…Edward…and boy in pain along with him.

"Seriously? Next time use your window," I said.

"My window doesn't have a tree to climb right next to my window," Emmett said.

I nodded and then the three were in my room.

"Emmett! Where are you?" Charlie yelled from Emmett's room.

"Fuck," Emmett mumbled.

He slipped out of my room after telling…Edward…and boy in pain to stay in my room.

I walked over to…Edward...and took the beer away from him.

I sat it on my desk and went to my closet. I searched through my closet for my pajamas and found them. I slipped off my shirt, facing away from the two boys, and pulled on my long t-shirt. It hit be about mid calf, since it was Emmett's. I pulled off my jeans and sat them in my closet and turned back to the boys.

I pointed to boy in pain and said quietly, "What's your name?"

"Ja-Jasper," He stuttered.

I nodded and pointed to…Edward…and asked him the same.

"Edward, we met yesterday," He said.

I nodded and sat down on my bed.

I folded my legs and the shirt rode up a little.

I was messing with them but oh well.

"Haven't seen either of you around," I said quietly.

"I just moved in with the Cullen's," He said.

"What about you?" I asked Jasper.

"I just moved here from Texas, my sister and I," He said staring intently at my legs.

I nodded and lay down on my bed.

I wasn't wearing anything underneath the shirt because I had left my bra and panties with Peter.

I grabbed my cell phone and texted Peter, 'Like my present?'

He texted back and said, 'Love it.'

I laughed and threw my phone on the dresser next to my bed.

I turned on my lamp and stared at the two boys standing next to my window.

I rolled off my bed and walked right next to Jasper. I pulled down the window and sat back down on my bed.

I stared at the two boys and they didn't move. They just stood there, Jasper arms at his side, Edward had his arms folded across his chest.

It was an impressive chest. I told them to sit and they sat down on my floor. I smirked and idly wondered what was keeping Emmett.

I got off my bed and walked over to my door. I cracked it and I saw Charlie walking around upstairs. That's why Emmett can't come get his friends.

I sighed and closed the door softly. I walked to my closet, pulled my jeans out of the pile, pulled out the knife and razor, and went back to my desk. I sat the knife under my duck and threw the razor into a drawer. I pulled my duck into a sitting up position so he covered the handle too.

I stood on my tip toes and grabbed from underneath my tiny water cooler my pack of cigarettes. I went back to my bed and sat down. I stared at the two boys and decided I'd have to make a lighter materialize. I went to my side drawer and dug around.

I found my lighter and lit a cigarette after locking my door.

I unplugged the fire alarm and pulled hard on the cigarette. The boys both had cell phones out and were texting someone.

Or playing Tetris…

But I was betting on texting.

I finished my cigarette, threw it out my window, plugged the alarm back in after spraying Febreeze, and unlocked my door.

Emmett walked in and ushered Jasper and Edward out of the room. I spotted Edward's phone on the floor and chose not to acknowledge it.

They all left, after taking their beer. Emmett kissed me on the cheek and said thanks.

I nodded and locked the door when they left.

I grabbed Edward's phone and turned the volume down. I flipped it open and dialed my phone number. I ignored the call on my phone. Closed his phone. Saved his number. Deleted the call history. And then texted him saying, 'Hi, this is Bella.'

I picked up his phone after turning the volume back to his level. I knocked on Emmett's door, Emmett answered and I said, "I have Edward's phone."

I heard Edward mutter, "Shit."

And I smiled. I should have gone through his texts.

Emmett took it and threw it at Edward.

I went back to my room and my phone flashed. I locked the door and flipped open my phone.

'Hi, this is Edward.'

I laughed and threw my phone on my bed.

I pulled my coke out and reused my old tampon.

I dumped a rock out of the bag and cut it up.

I cut it finer with the razor and used my tampon to snort up the four lines I had cut up.

I went to my bed and lay down. I fell asleep thinking about Edward Cullen.

***

**A/N: Long chapter… There was 4,746 words in this chapter… (not including the A/N)**

**Review, tell me what you think.**

**Okay before you ask in the story before Edward actually introduces himself whenever Bella thinks of his name it's '…Edward…' that's because she wasn't sure if it was a nickname or his real name.**

**Umm…Please review!!! If I get enough reviews I might post the next chapter with Edward's point of view… **** Review! Thanksss!**


	2. Headaches & Drug Dealers

**A/N: Hmm… Thank you for the reviews. Yeah it's kind of OOC… **blushes** Sorry. **

**Um… I got 6 reviews. **** Good enough for me. Didn't expect much anyway. Okay… So like I said if you guys review I would put this chapter in Edward's point of view.**

**So…**

**Enjoy!**

I woke up staring upside down at Emmett's foot. I groaned and my head hurt.

I never got drunk at my orphanage or before that. Until Emmett walked up to me, introduced himself, and then convinced me to come to his house. Then we became friends. Apparently Emmett knew Jasper already, but I didn't catch how.

I sat up and looked around. Jasper was lying on top of a crushed beer box.

I laughed and looked at my phone.

I flipped it open and a message from Bella popped up on my phone, 'Hey. You guys might want to leave. My parents are raiding Emmett's room again.'

I stood up and kicked Jasper in the side. He groaned and opened his eyes. I shoved my phone at him and he read it fast. He stood up and pushed Emmett. Emmett groaned and mumbled out, "What?"

"Your parents are coming to look at your room," I whispered.

He opened his eyes and stood up. He rocked for a second and then started picking up trash. He handed me the beer boxes and the room looked like a 19 year old boy's room. He cracked his door and then opened it wide.

He pushed me and Jasper into Bella's room and Bella sat upright in her bed.

She wasn't wearing anything. I tore my eyes away from her reluctantly. I really didn't want to get beat up or shot at by the Chief of Police today.

I slunk down the tree and ran across their backyard. I got to the woods and Jasper collided into me.

We fell down laughing and then I said, "Your parents home?"

"Nope," He said.

I nodded and we headed to Jasper's house to sleep off our hangovers.

***

When I woke up I was on Jasper's bed.

Jasper was on the floor because I had kicked his ass because he was going to take his bed.

I sat up and checked my phone. I sighed when there weren't any new messages.

I stood up and accidentally stepped on Jasper's hand.

"Ow," He said tugging his hand out from underneath my foot.

"Oh shit, sorry," I said.

"Its fine," He said rolling over and pulling his blanket over his head.

I rolled my eyes and walked out of his room quietly. I went to his fridge and grabbed a bottle of water.

I popped two aspirins into my mouth and chugged my water.

I sat down at one of his kitchen chairs and sighed.

I had about 2 minutes of peace and quiet when I heard keys in the front door and then Rosalie was shouting through the house, "Anyone home?"

I smirked and shouted from the kitchen, "I am!"

I heard her stop in the process of taking off her coat and then she slowly entered into the kitchen.

Rose always had a huge crush on me, ever since we met at Carlisle and Esme's house. She wasn't really my cousin considering I was adopted and all. So it wasn't all that weird.

She was the same age as Jasper, they were twins. "Edward!" She shouted and ran over to me.

I stood up and gave her a hug.

She pulled away and gushed about her new boyfriend. I didn't even catch his name.

I crossed my arms and said, "So who's the lucky guy?"

"Oh he's Emmett Swan," She said blushing.

Oh boy…

I patted her shoulder and said, "Good for you."

She sat down on the chair I had just vacated and said, "You have your eye on any girls here?"

She arched an eyebrow and I rolled my eyes. "No, Rosie. You know you're the only girl for me," I said with a laugh.

She blushed and then drank out of my water bottle.

She handed it back to me and I groaned. "Thanks for that," I mumbled.

"Okay so you're not into any girls… guys?" She asked.

I nearly spat out my water. "Rosie. Seriously?" I asked.

She shook her head and then said, "I've got to go do stuff. I'm seeing Alice in a few hours."

She nudged me and I rolled my eyes.

She ran upstairs after grabbing her shopping bags.

Jasper came down the stairs and ran his hand through his hair.

I silently handed him my water and the aspirin. He popped two and chugged the water.

I sat down in my chair and looked over at Jasper. He was looking for something in the fridge.

"I've got to get home, soon. I'm supposed to be home about," I glanced at the clock and said, "Four hours ago."

Jasper nodded and said, "See you around."

I nodded and headed home. I walked in my door and Esme rushed to the door as it opened.

"Edward!" She cried in relief.

I didn't really feel as bad about coming home late…I used to but not after Carlisle told me he used to not come home for sometime after curfew. I mean at least I came home, right?

"I texted you, I told you I would be late," I said.

She nodded and then led me to the kitchen. There was coffee and a plate of eggs and bacon.

I licked my lips and dug in. When I was finished I kissed Esme, made sure to avoid talking at her, and told her thank you.

I went upstairs, took a shower, and brushed my teeth. I swished mouth wash for a good five minutes and then I went to my bedroom.

I sat down on my bed and then thought about Bella…

She was obviously the most beautiful girl ever. Her long mahogany hair, her beautiful deep doe brown eyes, and her perfect figure. She smoked and drank too…My kind of girl.

I had seen her once in just underwear and a bra. The other time I had seen her in one of Emmett's t-shirts and nothing else. God, she was so hot!

I texted Bella and said, 'Thanks for the heads up, this morning.'

Her response came about 10 minutes later and it said, 'No problem. Are you coming over anytime soon?'

I stared at the screen for a few seconds and then texted back saying, 'I'm not sure. Depends if Emmett still wants to hang out. We might actually come to my house this weekend. My parents are leaving this weekend.'

She sent, ' Cool. How did you meet Emmett?'

I texted back quickly and said, 'He walked up to me, introduced himself, and told me to come over that night. So that night I was standing in the rain, I met him that day.'

She texted back with, 'Ah…so you're like a supplier?'

'No. I just brought it over. He said his favorite and I brought it. *shrug* No biggie, I don't do it regularly. I mean I'm not like a drug dealer or anything.' I quickly texted.

' What's wrong with drug dealers?' She sent.

'Ah…Nothing.' I texted lamely.

She didn't text back so I went downstairs and saw Rose and Alice watching a movie. I sat down in the middle of them and threw my arms around both their shoulders. "So, ladies, what are we watching?" I asked.

Alice shoved my arm off of her but Rose stayed. "Go away Edward," Alice said as Rose said, "Saw 5."

I smirked and said, "I've already seen this one. I guess I'll leave you guys alone."

I got up and went upstairs. I knocked on Esme and Carlisle's door and Esme said, "Come in."

I walked in and lay down on Esme's bed. "Hey, guys," I said.

"Hi," Esme said.

"What are you guys watching?" I asked.

"Modern Marvels," Carlisle mumbled.

I rolled my eyes and sat up. I got off their bed and said, "Text you guys later, I'm going to Jasper's."

"Alright, be safe. Don't do anything I wouldn't!" Esme shouted.

I shook my head and went downstairs. I walked over to Jasper's and he answered. He walked upstairs and he had his phone out texting someone.

"Who are you texting?" I asked while flopping down onto his bed.

"Ah, no one," Jasper said while snapping his phone shut and slipping it into his back pocket.

I eyed him for a second and then let it go. "So, that Bella chick, she was pretty hot, huh?" I asked.

Jasper shrugged and said, "She was. Just kind of not my type, you know?"

I nodded and then sat up. "What are we doing tonight? Have you talked to Emmett lately?" I asked.

"Ah, no, you should text him," Jasper said.

"Okay," I said. I pulled out my phone and texted Emmett, 'Hey, my parents are leaving tomorrow for the rest of the weekend. Want to come over?'

His reply came almost instantly, 'ABSOLUTELY! I can get some beer, what about you?'

I texted back and said, 'Yeah, I think so. Plus my parents have some in the fridge already.'

His reply came just as fast as the last one, 'What about Jasper?'

'He'll be here, but I don't know if he can get any,' I texted Emmett.

'Alright, see you then. What time will they be gone?' He asked.

'Ah, about 7:00 A.M.,' I texted him.

'Great. See you about noon on Saturday,' He texted me.

I snapped my phone shut and said, "So noon Saturday Emmett will be at my house. What about you?"

"Um, I think I can make it there by 11:00," Jasper said staring at his phone.

"Okay, bringing anything?" I asked.

"I can scrounge up a case I guess," He said still not taking his eyes off his screen.

"Alright, seriously, who are you talking to?" I asked standing up and making my way over to him.

"Erm, no one!" He said throwing his phone in his pocket and backing away from me.

I sighed and went downstairs. Jasper followed me and we both got water. We sat down on the couch and played Call of Duty 2 for about 6 hours and then I went home.

Esme and Carlisle were nowhere in sight and I didn't hear Alice anywhere. I went upstairs and found a note on my door.

_Took Alice shopping. I don't know how I keep getting suckered into this but I went with. Be home later. Frozen pizza in the freezer._

_--Dad_

I sighed and crumbled the piece of paper up and threw it away.

I sat in my room and watched TV until I heard Esme and Alice's laugher. I went downstairs and Alice said, "Edward! You have to see what I got!"

I internally rolled my eyes and nodded with a fake smile on my face. She ran upstairs and I heard her throwing things around in her room.

Esme laughed and Carlisle came in behind them holding a bunch of bags. I cringed feeling bad for him. I went over to him and helped him. He gave me a thankful smile and we carried the bags upstairs to Alice.

"Thank you, Dad!" She said.

"You're welcome," He said.

He went out the door and I was about to follow him when Alice cried, "Edward! You have to see what I got!"

I turned back around, walked into her room, and sat down on her bed. "Alright, show me what you got," I said.

After about a 3 hour 'fashion show' I went downstairs to the smell of lasagna being cooked.

I had a corner piece and then a few pieces of garlic bread. After I was done I cleaned my dishes and started upstairs when Carlisle said, "Can you put your suitcase in my room?"

I nodded and dug through my closet for my suitcase. I found it and sat it in Carlisle's room.

Just as I was turning to leave Carlisle turned from the closet and said, "Wait, Edward, I need to talk to you."

I prepared myself and turned around. "Yes, Dad?" I asked.

"This weekend, while your mom and I are gone, what are you and Alice going to do?" He asked.

I had one of those moments where you want time to pause so you can think of something to say. Well time didn't pause and Carlisle caught my reluctance to answer.

"No parties, no one over, and you have to include Alice in anything you do," He said sternly.

I nodded and turned to leave when he said, "I'm serious. If Alice tells me you didn't follow any of those rules you are going to be in so much trouble."

"So that's why you took her shopping," I mumbled while leaving his room.

"What'd you say?" He asked.

"I hope you guys have a good trip," I said louder.

I went to my room and closed my door. I locked it and sat on my bed and watched Rob and Big. It was a stupid show; they were throwing a dog a birthday party.

"Wow," I muttered while falling asleep.

***

The pixie was bouncing on my bed when I woke up.

"What?" I groaned while rolling over.

"They're gone!" She practically shouted.

I sat up and said, "Why didn't they wake me up?"

"They said they didn't want to disrupt your sleeping patterns," She said.

I nodded and look at the clock.

It was only 8:00.

I got out of bed and went into my closet. I rummaged around and threw on a new shirt. While pulling on my pants I shouted, "Guess who's coming over today."

"Who?" Alice screeched excitedly.

I walked out of my closet while buckling my belt and saying in a teasing voice, "Jasper."

Her face turned ten shades of red and she bolted out of my room.

I snickered and went downstairs. Around 11:00 Jasper walked into my house.

"Hey," I said as he sat down on my couch.

"Hi," He said. He sat the beer in his hands down on my coffee table.

Alice came downstairs about half an hour later in new clothes with make up on.

I rolled my eyes as she sat down next to me and Jasper said, "Hi, Alice."

"Hi," She mumbled quietly.

"What are you watching?" She asked me.

"TV," I said.

She stayed quiet and then around noon my door was being beaten on.

I opened it and Emmett stood there with two boxes of beer under each arm.

"Welcome," I said opening the door wide.

I started to close the door when someone's foot caught the door.

I opened it and there stood Bella carrying a box of beer in her arms.

I stared at her oddly and opened my mouth to asked why she came when Alice screamed, "Bella!"

Bella shoved the beer in my arms and walked over to Alice.

"Hey, Alice," She said.

Bella was wearing barely any make up with a short skirt, tank top, and some heels. She looked absolutely divine.

I closed my gaping mouth and closed the door. Bella was sitting in my seat when I made it back to the living room. Emmett was sitting in the armchair and Jasper was sitting next to Alice.

"Hey, Ali?" I asked as I sat the beer on the table.

"Yes?" She questioned.

"Can you and Bella go upstairs?" I asked.

She nodded and grabbed Bella's hand as they flew upstairs. I sat down in my old seat and Emmett said, "Good, I thought they were going to like stay down here with us or something."

I shook my head and said, "Nope the only girls that are going to be in this living room are definitely not going to be anyone's sister."

Jasper laughed and we watched TV for another hour before I was completely smashed.

***

**BPOV:**

Alice texted me and told me I had to come over. She said that the hottest guy in the world would be at her house and she needed me to meet the guy she was going to marry.

Rolling my eyes at her text I caught a ride with Emmett who was going to Alice's house too. Obviously not to see Alice. He made me carry a pack of beer into the house. I was right behind Emmett when Edward opened the door.

I heard him say, "Welcome."

He started to close the door when Emmett got in but I shoved my door in so he opened it back up.

I had a box of beer in my arms. He opened his mouth to say something when I heard Alice screech, "Bella!" I shoved the beer in Edward's arms and walked into the other room to find Alice sitting on the couch next to the boy in pain. Erm…Jasper.

I flopped down next to Alice and then a few minutes later Edward walked back into the front room.

I tried to act like I was engrossed in the dumb Mythbuster show but I really wasn't I was a tad bit more interested in the guy standing to my right off to the side.

"Hey, Ali?" I heard his velvety voice say.

I saw him sit the beer down on the table and then Alice asked, "Yes?"

"Can you and Bella go upstairs?" He asked.

My heart fell when he said that. I thought he might have liked me…I guess not.

_Heh…Not that I cared…Riiiiiight._

Alice nodded and she flew me up the stairs. She slammed the door shut to her room and then I took in the catastrophe of her room.

I had an extreme urge to clean it but I refrained.

"So, what do you think?" She asked.

"Huh?" I answered while sitting down on her bed.

"About Jasper! The guy I was sitting down next to!" She practically screamed.

"Oh, he's pretty cute," I said.

She nodded and then I blurted out, "I think I like Edward."

I covered my face with my hands and blushed like none other.

"What?!" She screeched.

"I think I like Edward," I mumbled into my hands.

"I know, I heard what you said, but," She said while sitting down next to me on the bed, "Bella he's like…my brother!"

"I know and I'm sorry!" I cried into my hands. **(Not really crying…)**

"Sweetie? I mean he's like ew. And ew. And he's just…ew!" She said.

I nodded into my hands and mumbled, "I know. I just…Don't even know. The first time I saw him, soaking wet from rain carrying around a box of beer, and climbing into my window. I fell for him. Hard."

"I'm so sorry!" she said.

I nodded and said, "So am I."

She laughed and said, "Well, I guess we'll just have to make sure he likes you back."

"But, what if he doesn't Ali?" I asked.

"Bella, I know he will! He's just dumb he doesn't even know who he likes yet," She said.

I turned towards her and took her hands, "But, Ali, I don't think I can take rejection."

She snorted and said, "This from the Bella that snorts coke? This from the Bella that smokes cigarettes. This from the Bella that drinks illegally. This from the Bella that snuck in boys all while in the orphanage. This from—"

"Okay, you've made your point. I've got it," I said.

I looked up at her and she was grinning from ear to ear.

"What?" I asked in horror.

"You know what this means right?" She asked.

I stared blankly and she said, "Shopping!"

"No!" I screamed.

***

**EPOV:**

_Man, am I smashed. I should have let up a little._

_I wonder what the girls are doing…_

"No!" I heard Bella scream.

Alarmed I stood up. So did Emmett and Jasper.

***

**Haha…Okay. There you go. Bella's confronting her feelings for Edward…**

**Jeesh. Lemme tell you. I didn't think it would be THAT big of a deal for Bella to be on Cocaine…And be drinking and be smoking. (Okay so maybe I knew it was a bad idea) but trust me. Edward will uh help her… **


	3. Loverboy & Cowboy

**BPOV:**

"Bella! Shh! You don't want lover boy to run in here, do you?" She asked while giggling like mad.

"Oh, I'm sure you want your cowboy to come up here, though," I said raising my eyebrows suggestively.

"Bella!" She squeaked.

The door was beaten on before it burst open.

Edward staggered in along with Emmett and Jasper.

I winked at Alice and she winked back.

"What happened?" Emmett said.

I sat on the bed and said in my most dramatic voice, "Alice is taking me shopping!"

Edward snorted and turned around without saying anything.

I rolled my eyes at his back and practically growled at him.

Jasper grumbled something and followed Edward out the door.

Emmett burst out laughing and walked out of the room too.

After the door closed Alice and I started to laugh hysterically.

A few hours later we went downstairs to see Edward and Jasper wrestling and Emmett playing Halo.

I giggled and watched, impressed, as Edward threw Jasper on the ground and held his arm in a painful angle.

"Tap! Tap!" Edward said menacingly.

Jasper tapped and Edward stood up.

He laughed as Jasper stood up with a grimace on his face.

I continued to gawk at Edward's magnificently uncovered chest.

"Oh sweet Lord," I mumbled.

Edward turned around and I raced into the kitchen.

Alice walked in behind me and laughed.

"You're so cute when you're in love," She teased.

"Oh, love? No, lust…Mmm, yeah. Hey, besides, you have no room to talk, _you _Ms. Cullen are falling for Cowboy," I said.

She giggled and we got cokes.

We were heading upstairs when Jasper said something to Edward that made him smack in upside the head.

Jasper started to crack up and I continued to walk by without a second glance.

Alice and I went to sleep around midnight and woke up around four because we had school.

I don't know about her but I dreamt about Edward's magnificently sculpted chest.

And it would be weird if she had…

***

**EPOV:**

I was wrestling Jasper, and succeeding like none other.

I got him down on the ground and held his arm out and bent up.

"Tap! Tap!" I said.

Jasper tapped and I laughed as Jasper got up with a frown on his face.

I heard Bella's soft voice whisper, "Oh sweet Lord."

I turned around and she ran into the kitchen.

I smiled at Alice and she smiled back at me.

She walked into the kitchen laughing.

"What was that about?" Emmett asked while setting his controller on the couch.

I glanced at the screen and noticed he won. Of course.

"Nothing….just you know, nothing," I said, avoiding telling Emmett I was head over heels in lust mode with his baby sister.

He looked at me oddly but dropped it.

Bella and Alice slipped downstairs and I eventually passed out around 3:20 A.M.

I had school so I woke up at 5:00.

I had about an hour to get ready and be in my seat for first period.

I woke Jasper and Emmett up and they took a shower in my bathroom and my parent's bathroom.

I slipped a shirt on and some jeans and was downstairs when I noticed Alice and Bella's note.

"_Had to run Bella home to get her things, love you, and get to school on time._

_--Ali"_

I threw the note out and when Emmett came downstairs he said, "Where's your sister and Bella?"

"They ran to Bella's to get Bella's things," I said, Emmett was already nodding.

Jasper came downstairs and I noticed my shirt on him.

"Mind if I borrow this? Thanks," He said without waiting for an answer.

I took Jasper's stuff all the time; there was no real reason to ask to borrow anything from either of us anymore.

When we got to school I was 12 minutes late to first period.

Fortunately we had a substitute, which had me bring the attendance down to the office, so I changed it quickly that I wasn't tardy.

I couldn't get another tardy or else I would have to face the wrath that is the Principal.

I kind of just floated to each class and by 5th period Biology I was ready to pass out.

I noticed that in the back of the room sat Bella Swan.

_Whoa…She must be extremely smart to be in this class._

Banner was droning on about something and ended up turning on a video.

I kept stealing glances to the back of the room and at one point I looked back and Bella wasn't in her seat anymore.

I shrugged it off and watched the rest of the video. The final bell rang and I ran to my car.

Bella's car was already gone.

_Where did she go?_

**BPOV:**

I slipped out of the Biology room in the middle of class.

We were watching a video so Mr. Banner wouldn't know.

Not that it really mattered, at all.

I went to Mike's alley and picked up a bag of coke and drove home.

I was on my second snort when the doorbell sounded.

I shoved everything in its right place and ran downstairs to answer the door.

I flung the door open and Edward was standing at the door.

"Emmett isn't here," I said and started to close the door.

He shoved his foot in the way and I glared at it.

_What the fuck is he doing?_

"What the fuck are you doing?" I asked him without thinking.

"I brought you an extra packet, you left class before Banner assigned it, and it's over the movie, so I kind of…" He rubbed the back of his neck and continued, "Filled it out for you."

He shoved it at me and walked off the porch.

I stared at the foreign paper and then back at Edward.

He was halfway down the walk way when I said just loud enough for him to hear me, "Thank you."

I closed the door and went back to my room.

_Did Edward Cullen just do something nice for me? Did _someone_ just do something nice for me is the better question._

I curled up on my bed and fell asleep without bothering to do any homework.

I went to school the next morning and when 5th period came and I handed in my homework, Mr. Banner said he needed to see me after class.

I stayed after; I mean where was I going to go?

"So, you did your homework?" He asked me skeptically.

I nodded and he said, "Is this going to happen regularly?"

I shrugged and he said, "Can you try and make it happen regularly?"

I nodded and said while leaving, "Try being the key word there, Mr. Banner."

I got to the parking lot and the truck wouldn't start.

There was only one car in the parking lot, it belonged to Cowboy…er Jasper?

I walked over and tapped on the window.

He rolled it down and said, "Why, hello Bella."

I internally rolled my eyes and put on my best flirty smile. "Hi, Jasper," I practically purred his name.

"Wha-what can I do fo-for you, Bella?" He stuttered.

I covered up my smile by saying, "I was wondering if you could drive me home? My car won't start and," I started rubbing the part of the car where the window went, "I could always repay you."

He audibly gulped and nodded.

I smiled and hopped into the passenger seat.

I told him where I lived and he practically raced out of the parking lot.

"So, Jasper, why were you still in the school parking lot?" I asked while setting my hand on his leg.

"I uh," He gulped and said, "I had to stay after class for a few minutes to talk to the teacher."

I traced my hand up his leg and back down before I reached his thigh.

"Mr. Banner kept me after class too, so you're from Texas?" I asked still running my hand up and down his leg.

He nodded and I said, "And your sister? Her name is Rosalie, right?"

He nodded yet again and I said, "I know her, she's got it bad for my brother. Do you know who I have it bad for?"

By this point we were in my drive way, no cruiser in sight, or jeep.

He shook his head and looked at me.

I climbed over the console in the middle of the car and sat down in his lap.

"You," I breathed and then crushed my lips on to his.

I ground myself on him and he groaned into my mouth.

All thoughts of my best friend crushing on him, Eric's brother, and Edward flew out the window.

Just me and the southern boy.

I thrust my tongue in his mouth and continued to grind on him.

I ran my hands down his shirt and lifted it up a little.

I traced his muscles and smiled when he shuddered.

I was about to lift his shirt off when Jasper's phone rang.

I sighed and sat in my seat on the other side of the car.

He flipped it open and said, "Hello?"

I heard the person say something and then Jasper said, "No, I'm busy."

The person said something again and Jasper said, "Seriously? Fine, I'll be there but it better be good."

He flipped his phone closed and raked his eyes over me.

He leaned over, kissed me hard, and then said, "I've got to get home, my sister _needs_ my help."

I pouted and said, "I need your help too."

I reached over and rubbed him threw his pants.

I quickly withdrew my hand when I heard him moan and said, "And I think you need some help too. But, if you have to go, go ahead. Thanks for the ride; I'll have to repay you later."

I winked at him before getting out of his car, grabbing my back pack and going inside my house.

I peeked through the blinds and saw him run his hands through his hair, visibly shake himself, and pull out of my driveway.

I giggled quietly as I walked to my room.

An hour later Eric came to my window and I let him in.

"Is your brother home?" He asked halfway through.

I shook my head and said, "No one is home, yet."

He climbed through and sat on my bed.

I walked over to him and knelt in front of him.

"I'm really sorry for what Emmett did, he over reacted," I said running my hands up his legs.

He shrugged and I said, "Your eye is still swollen."

He nodded, shrugged again, and said, "It's worth it, as long as I get to be with you."

I smiled at him and stood him up; I knelt down in front of him and pulled his pants down.

He went commando.

I licked my lips and said, "I still feel bad, Eric, can I make it up to you?"

He looked down at me and when I rubbed the head of him he groaned and nodded.

At least I think it was a nod…

I took all of him into my mouth, and let me tell you, there wasn't much to take.

It barely hit the back of my throat.

Eric's brother's cock…was godly.

I sucked him off and then he came down my throat.

I pulled off of him and said, "Does that make it better?"

He nodded and he slowly pulled his pants up.

I internally crossed my fingers he wouldn't want to 'pay me back'.

Luckily Emmett's jeep pulled in and Eric made a quick, "Thanks, I'll text you later," exit.

I laughed as I skipped downstairs and greeted Emmett.

"Why are you so cheery?"

"_Because I just gave my 'boyfriend' a blowjob and stole his wallet while he was cumming."_

"I don't know…today went by really fast, I guess I'm happy, how was your day?" I asked.

I giggled and cut off my thoughts.

I didn't get to count how much Eric had in his wallet but it was probably enough to buy me some new shoes…

"…almost 300. This other kid, he was totally jealous and started mocking me and so I slammed his up against a locker and told him to shut the fuck up. And he did," Emmett had been ranting and I hadn't been listening.

Wow I felt like a jerk.

I reached into my back pocket and pulled out my cell phone.

"Who was it?" I asked flipping open the phone and scanning Peter's message.

I grinned when I read, 'I want to see you again, before Friday.' And frowned when Emmett said Peter Yorkie.

"You threw Peter Yorkie up against a locker?" I asked.

He nodded and seemed proud of himself. "What the fuck were you think, you asshole?!" I exploded.

"What?" He asked.

I shook my head and walked upstairs.

"Come on, Bella! You don't even know the guy, for all you know he could be a total dick!" He shouted up the stairs.

"Fuck off," I mumbled as I swung my door closed.

"I'm going to Edwards! Don't go anywhere!" I heard Emmett shout up stairs.

I called Peter and he picked up on the fifth ring.

"Hello?" He asked.

"Peter?" I asked.

"Oh, hey Stacey," He said.

"You're in the family room?" I asked biting my lip.

"Yeah, Thursday sounds great," He said.

"I heard what Emmett did, God, he's such a fucking dumbass," I said.

He was silent and I said, "You're allowed to agree, smarty."

"Then I completely agree," He laughed.

I giggled and said, "What's happening on Friday that you can't see me?"

"Yeah, I'm still going on the family trip," He said.

I sighed and said, "Well, that just, sucks."

"Yeah," He said.

"I'll miss you," I said.

"I'll miss you too," He said.

"More importantly I'll miss your cock," I said with a sly smile on.

"Oh, really?" He asked.

"Yes, and Thursday will just not cut it for me, I need you Friday too," I said.

I heard some rustling, doors being closed/opened, and then the springs of his mattress.

"If I could get out of going to this damn trip, I would," He said.

"Then Thursday will just have to be extra long," I said.

"Mmmhmm," He mumbled.

"Do you want to know what I'm wearing?" I asked.

"Yes," He breathed.

"Just an old t-shirt, nothing else. I just took a shower so my hair is still wet," I said.

"Where are you?" He asked.

"All alone on my bed, no one is even home," I said.

He groaned and said, "I could always slip out and come make your house a little bit less lonely."

"Really? Because if you have to stay, I could always…take care of myself," I whispered.

"And how would you…take care of yourself, Bella?" He asked.

"I'd trace myself, and delicately slip my fingers in my folds. Soon I'd fuck myself and scream your name as I climaxed," I breathed.

"I like that…but then I would still have a raging hard on," He said.

"Then I think you should come over. I can take care of you," I whispered.

"Fifteen minutes, I'll be right over," He mumbled.

"Mmm…I don't know if I can wait that long, I'm so wet already," I breathed into the phone.

"Peter! Come on! We're going to the Newton's camp store!" I heard Peter's dad shout in the background.

I heard Peter groan and I said, "So to be continued? Come to my place tomorrow?"

"Yeah, see you after school," He said.

I hung up and went over to my desk.

I was snorting my third line when there was a knock on my window.

I whipped around and saw Edward wobbling on a branch.

I dashed over to the window and let him in.

"What the fuck are you doing?" I asked him after closing my window.

"It's fucking two degrees outside, you dumbass," I said latching the lock back.

I turned around and Edward was staring with his eyebrows furrowed at my desk.

He walked over to my desk and looked down at the coke lines, razor, baggy, and knife.

"What are you doing to yourself, Bella?" He whispered.

**Alright, so what do you think?**

**Good, bad?**

**Review?**

**Next chapter…some opening of the feelings….Confronting some fears…Tears will be shed, as well as some blood, er what?**

**Never mind. **

**Review please!**


	4. It's Different, Right?

**You know what a weird song is? Another Postcard by Barenaked Ladies**

**Anyways...**

**I liked the response I got from last chapter. I know this is the fourth chapter and things are kind of fastly moving...**

**Who likes slow stories?**

**Um I had a person say that they really want Edward to help Bella I can't tell you for sure if he will. Bella is addicted. It's like Edward trying not to drink Bella's blood it's difficult.**

**If he can help what will she do to get her high?**

**Um Bella isn't doing this to get attention, guys. She's desperately trying to hide it from everyone and it was just a little slip.**

**Alright, thank you guys for the positive reviews!**

**Can I get five reviews this chapter? I'll make it worthwhile next one!**

***

EPOV:

Okay so the tree climbing was getting a lot easier.

I'd climb up the trunk, over to the third branch, and then knock on her window.

This time Emmett invited me over, he already had stuff.

This disproves Rose's idea of me being used. Because I wasn't.

Anyways I knocked on her window and damn I was freezing.

I peeked through and saw her hunched over her desk.

She turned around and had a smile/grimace on her face.

She threw open the window and I hopped inside.

"What the fuck are you doing?" She asked.

I walked over to her desk, I spotted the knife from across the room and I was worried she was like cutting herself or something.

"It's fucking two degrees outside, you dumbass," She said.

I wasn't paying attention anymore.

On her desk were two lines of white powder, a baggy of white rocks, a razor, and a knife.

I felt my eyebrows knit together and I turned to her.

"What are you doing to yourself, Bella?" I asked.

A few emotions played on her face.

First it was panic, then it was worry, then it was anger.

She stuck with anger unfortunately.

"What the fuck does it matter to you, Cullen? I barely even know you," She spat.

I stared at her for a second and then walked out of the room.

She wasn't going to do that to herself.

I wouldn't let her.

She didn't need to destroy her life.

I looked behind me once to see her glaring at me.

I shook my head and walked into Emmett's room.

He was on his bed watching TV.

"Hey, Edward, my man," He said as he sat up.

He leaned under his bed and pulled out the beer.

_I mean it was different right?_

_I was drinking, she was killing herself._

_If she snorted too much she could die._

_Die_.

I closed my eyes as I drank my first beer.

I didn't need to be here again.

I didn't need this again.

Not again.

I closed my eyes and blocked out the painful memories as I drank my beer.

I chugged it down and Emmett said, "Slow down there buddy."

"Sorry, I just had the worst day, ever," I said.

"Didn't we all," He mumbled.

He flipped through the channels and settled on Comedy Central.

There was usually some good shows on there.

I was on my fifth beer when I eventually passed out from exhaustion.

I woke up around one o'clock and couldn't get back to sleep.

I was on the floor of Emmett's room and all I kept thinking was I should have told him about Bella.

_What if already knows?_

_No he wouldn't let her do that._

_Does he know about her smoking?_

_I think so... He doesn't seem so, um, bothered by her whipping out a pack of cigarettes unless it's in his car._

_Does he know about her smoking that joint with Jasper?_

_Yes, Jasper told him! Remember???_

_Right, so smoking is okay. And drinking is obviously okay. What about snorting cocaine?_

_How do we know it was cocaine?_

_Why did you say we? Why am I talking to myself? And I would know what the hell cocaine looks like!_

_Fine! Fine! I think you should get some help._

_Like therapy?_

_Yeah, I mean Esme and Carlisle wouldn't think twice about, especially if you say it was about before you lived with them. Remember that, um, Father, um, Felix? Said to them that if I asked they should just give in about therapy._

_Right. Right. Fine I could ask. But why?_

_Because you are talking to yourself about a girl you've maybe spoken 15 sentences to..._

I stared at the ceiling and around 5:30 Emmett's alarm went off.

He sat up and practically killed the alarm clock.

It was Saturday, why was his alarm clock was on in the first place I'll never know.

I silently texted Bella, rather reluctantly, _'I need to get out of here. Emmett is asleep. How do I get out?'_

BPOV:

I didn't sleep last night.

At all.

I didn t even finish snorting. I sat on my bed and stared at the ceiling. I used my TV as background noise, and around 5:30 my phone rang.

I flipped it open and it was from Edward.

_'I need to get out of here. Emmett is asleep. How do I get out?'_

"Why the fuck would I care?" I asked my silent room.

I pushed reply and said, _'Try his window.'_

**(Alright I want this to be like no one's point of view. Cuz I want you to see both of their reactions.)**

**No one's POV:**

Edward flipped open his phone and read her message, _'Try his window.'_

"Smart ass," He mumbled.

He replied with, _'Um. There's no tree next to his window.'_

Bella opened her phone, by this point she was irritated out of her mind, and read his text.

_'Well I guess you can use my window, then.'_ She texted him back reluctantly.

A few minutes later there was a light tapping, the door opened, and she watched him walk in.

He was silently praying she wouldn t kill him. Which she could probably do.

She was silently praying that he would just the fuck out of her room.

She was still pissed off about last night.

_'He had no right,'_ She continued to think.

He silently slipped out of the window and when he was gone she closed the window.

**APOV:**

So I didn't entirely approve of Bella snorting, but she'd been doing it before she'd known me.

And apparently quitting cold turkey was impossible for her, and she didn't have money to go to rehab. Let alone time.

It's not like she could go, "Alright, I'm going to rehab, fuck school, fuck my family, see you later!"

Yeah. That would not go over well.

And I had tried numerous times to help her, don't get me wrong, I wouldn't let my best friend walk around as a coke addict. She had been rehab once, over the summer, and she left.

She couldn't "handle it."

And Edward, I remember how he had come home on Saturday morning around 7:00 and he had been pissed.

Or sad.

I was betting on pissed though.

"What's wrong Edward?" I asked.

He sat me down on the couch and said, "Did you know that Bella is snorting cocaine?"

I sat dumbfounded for a second.

"Um, what?" Was my brilliant response.

"You've known her forever; did you know she snorts cocaine?" He asked, again.

"Um Edward, it's not your business what she does and doesn't do," I said, dodging his question.

"You knew! You f-you knew!" He shouted, standing up from the couch.

_Guess I didn't dodge it very well..._

"It doesn't matter, it's not your business," I said standing up too.

"She's killing herself, Alice! It's anyone's business that knows!" He shouted at me.

"Lower your damn voice, calm down, and listen to me. Now," I said menacingly.

You know, I'm like almost 5 foot so when I have to be mean I have to pour a little acid in my voice It works.

Most of the time.

He took a deep breath and sat down.

I sat down next to him and said, "Not that this is your business at all, but Bella has been doing this before she knew me. I put her through rehab once, and she's tried quitting cold turkey several times, it's just not that easy. You can't help her, I've tried and I'm her best friend. You're just some boy that she has known for a few days, you aren't going to make any sort of impact on her. You should just stay out of it, alright?"

He shook his head and stood up.

He went upstairs to do whatever he does up there and I stayed downstairs.

I didn't know what to do.

_This was too much, happening too fast._

_Way too fast._

**EPOV:**

I was so mad.

I didn t even have a just reason to be.

But I was angry as hell.

I tried sitting on my bed and taking a deep breath, I failed.

I tried pacing and taking deep breaths, I failed.

I ended up kicking my wall and flopping on my bed while listening to my radio.

I think I was listening to Limp Bizkit's Break Stuff.

So everyone wants to listen to the song that relates directly to how you feel right?

Well that's what I was doing.

Anyways so when you listen to the song that is exactly how you feel it fuels that emotion right?

Well I just kept getting angrier.

I couldn't help it, I went through a few scream-o songs and eventually Alice ended up telling me to shut off my music and go downstairs.

I trudged down the stairs and saw Esme and Carlisle talking to each other on the couch.

When they spotted me Carlisle said, "Edward Esme and I think that you should see a um pyschologist."

I kept my face straight and said, "Okay," in the most nonchalant way possible.

"Alright, um, well, you're first appointment is Monday, after school," Carlisle said.

I nodded and head upstairs.

"That was a lot easier than I thought it would be," Esme whispered to Carlisle.

I smirked and walked up stairs. I was getting pretty tired by that point.

I slowly slipped into a dreamless sleep and when I woke up I was sort of hoping it was Monday.

***

**EPOV:**

I walked downstairs and ate the breakfast Esme had set out for me before going out with Carlisle...

When I was finished I walked into the living room in a lesiurly stroll and flipped on the TV. I watched Mad TV for a bit and then decided to turn off the TV.

I was irratible, uncomfortable, and feeling a bit helpless at that point.

I dropped the remote on the couch and went into Carlisle's office.

I rummaged through his books and found nothing of interest, or that I hadn't read.

I looked around his office and walked over to his desk.

I glanced around and sat down in his big rollie chair.

No one was allowed to touch anything on his desk, especially the computer.

I delicately touched the mouse on his computer and the blue screen popped up asking for a password.

I glanced around and opened his desk drawer. I ran a finger across the labels of his folders and found one labeled, _'Computer Information.'_

I plucked it out and opened it. I flipped through the manual and then noticed a small post-it note on the back. I was about to look at it but I heard the garage open so I had to put the folder back, run to the other side of the room, grab a book off the shelf, and sit in the only comfy armchair in the room. I flipped to a random page and started to read.

I noticed I grabbed the dictionary, but had not time to change books because Carlisle was walking into his office already.

"Oh. Hi Edward," He said.

"Hi Carlisle," I said settling on the word aminomethyl.

"I see your reading the," He glanced at the cover, "Dictionary?"

"Not reading it. I just needed to find out what the word aminomethyl meant. Thanks for letting me borrow it, bye!" I called after I had slipped the book back in place and started out the door.

I went to my room and watched the birds outside.

I was bored beyond repair.

***

**Okay... Whatcha thinkin?**

**Next week we follow Edward to his appointment, and we see some conversations go on between some people we weren't even sure would be in the story! Luv ya!**

**Review! :)**


	5. Appointments & Visits

**Writer's block is a huge pain in the ass. If you agree will you review? First chapter got 6 reviews… So it shouldn't be that hard to get 5…right?**

**I just want to thank TwilighterMindBodyandSoul, earth-fairy2006, and MrsMasenxXx for reviewing! **** You guys are great!**

*******

**BPOV:**

I unplugged my alarm clock before it could go all screechy on me and decided to skip school.

I didn't want to face the infamous Edward Cullen at school, yet.

I mean, it's not like I was doing anything wrong…well I guess I was but, I just didn't want to see him yet.

Emmett pounded on my door and I told him I wasn't feeling well, and to go on without me.

He made sure I had water and then asked me if I needed anything before he left.

He was just the greatest big brother anyone could want…and I was a great actor…

I remained in bed until I heard Renee and Charlie leave; they didn't know I stayed home so the day was looking up.

I bounded down the stairs and fiddled around with the stereo and listened to the soft beats of Debussy as I cleaned the kitchen.

I was bored and needed something to do.

I heard a knock at the door and, after checking to see who it was, opened the door to Alice.

"Hey, girl, why didn't you go to school today?" She asked.

"What is it over already?" I asked glancing at the clock.

Sure enough it was over.

"Yup, and someone…not saying who….had some sad puppy dog looking eyes while staring at your seat…" She said while giggling.

"Who?" I asked, intrigued.

"Just…someone," She said.

I laughed and nudged her, "Want anything to eat?"

She shook her head and said, "Nope, I have C lunch, remember, I just ate a little over 3 hours earlier."

I smiled and watched her walk into my living room and plug in her IPod.

She turned on a song I didn't know…The lyrics were something about not being her boyfriend.

It was good, better than some songs.

I went into the living room and watched as Alice sat down next to me and took my hands.

I raised an eyebrow and she said, "Bella, honey, I know we've been over this and over this but…can we try again?"

I was confused and when I realized what she was talking about she was already saying, "You don't have to quit all the way, just gradually stop? Please?"

"Alice!" I shouted while standing up.

"You know," I paused and continued, "You know I've tried, I've tried more than probably anyone else with an addiction. I just…can't. It's simple, I've been doing it since I lost my pa-parents and it's just the way I am. Please let me just keep this?"

She shook her head and said, "No, Bella, you're killing yourself—"

"You've been talking to your brother, haven't you?" I asked.

She got this look on her face and I knew she was calculating what I would say to her response.

"Hey brought it up," She said, with defeat in her voice.

"Fucking dumbass!" I shouted while storming to the front door.

I grabbed my coat off the hook and threw it on.

I walked down the road and continued until I found _his _house.

I knocked on the door and a tall man known as Dr. Carlisle Cullen, my doctor from time to time at the hospital, answered the door.

"Is," I paused to reduce the venom in my voice, "Is Edward home?"

He shook his head and said, "He went out with his mom. Do you need to leave a message for him, Bella?"

"Can you tell him that Bella told him to stay out of it? Please? He'll know what it means," I said.

He seemed confused but nodded.

"Thanks, Mr. Cullen," I said and turned around.

"You're welcome, Bella," He said while closing the door.

I stormed down the concrete steps and traveled down the path to my house.

I went inside and said, "Why didn't you tell me he wasn't there?"

"I figured you would calm down some while talking to Carlisle," She called from the kitchen.

I slipped my coat off and went into the kitchen.

"What are you doing?" I asked while taking a seat at the kitchen table.

I was a lot calmer than before.

"Nothing," She said while closing my recipe book.

I giggled and we spent the rest of the day just hanging out.

***  
**EPOV:**

I seriously considered not going to school but I figured she wouldn't kill me at school.

It ended up she didn't show up at school, I was safe for another day.

I completely blanked the appointment so when I got home and Esme asked me if I was ready I said, "Ready for what?"

"The appointment," She said, warily.

"Oh, right, sure, let's go," I said pulling on my coat again.

She seemed a bit nervous and said, "Unless you want Carlisle to go with you, instead?"

"No, no, it's okay, let's go, mom," I threw in just for her benefit.

She smiled a 1000 watt smile and drove me to the worse place on Earth.

I timidly walked inside the building and expected to see people talking to themselves and people swatting at things not seeable, instead I saw a receptionist, and two couches.

One couch had a small girl sitting on it by herself.

I smiled at her when she looked up at me.

She smiled back and I followed my mom up to the receptionist.

"Hi, I'm Gianna, what's your name, please?" She asked.

"Edward Cullen," I said wondering how someone who worked for a person who treated crazy people, excluding myself of course, could possibly be so chipper.

_Of course I wasn't crazy…_

_Riiiight, sure._

_Hey, be quiet._

_I'll think about it._

"…will see you in a few minutes, she's just finishing up with her last patient," Gianna said

While my inner monologue was running I had missed the doctor's name, again.

I sat down on the other couch and Esme sat next to me.

I noticed the little girl mumble something but I didn't want to intrude on her possible talking to herself.

A few minutes later a woman walked out of the room and walked to Gianna's desk.

"Edward," Said a pretty women holding a notepad.

I nodded and stood up.

"Come on into my office," She said holding the door open wide for me.

I walked inside and sat down on a nice leather couch she had told me to sit on.

"So Edward, tell me about yourself," She said as she sat down in the armchair across from me.

I shifted and said, "I go to Forks High School, um, and I don't have many friends, basically just Jasper and Emmett. Esme, the, um, woman outside that came with me, is, um…mom well she adopted me her and her husband, Carlisle. Then I also have a little sister."

She nodded and said, "Can you tell me about Jasper and Emmett?"

"Jasper is actually my cousin, through the adoption, and Rosalie, his, uh, sister, she and I get along pretty well, also. Jasper is nice, he's from Texas originally, I think," I said.

She smiled and said, "And Emmett?"

"Oh, well I met Emmett my first day at Forks High, he, uh, walked up to me, introduced himself, and then I went over to his house," I said, leaving out the part about us all drinking and Jasper smoking weed.

"And what's your sister's name?" She asked while jotting down notes.

"Alice, she's really short. She was adopted also, she went to the same orphanage as—well never mind, and she's full of energy. My dad really loves her, he's her quote on quote angel," I said, almost bringing Bella into the picture.

Didn't need to do that by accident.

She nodded and said, "And how is school?"

"School…is school. If I could get a decent job without doing it, I would, it's not the most fun thing in the world. My teachers are all really nice, they always have been. I mean I'm a good student and all, my grades are good. The other kids there kind of avoided me, but you know talked about me. Forks is small so I was the new person that everyone wanted to know. Not exactly how it is now. I hang out with Jasper and Emmett in class, but they have their own crowds they socialize with also. I kind of am considered a loner. If Emmett or Jasper happen to invite me to eat with them or something at lunch, I do. But otherwise I am kind of always sitting by myself," I said.

This girl, excuse me, woman was extremely easy to talk to.

She smiled and said, "I was exactly the same way. My friends tended to drift their own way, occasionally bringing me into the party, but never really sticking beside me all the time. And how about home. How is home treating you?"

I smiled and said, "Wonderfully."

She nodded and didn't press the situation.

I was crossing my fingers she wouldn't ask about my parents…That was the hardest subject.

"Now, I know we just met, and you might not exactly feel the most comfortable talking about this, but do you want to talk about your life before you were adopted?" She asked while staring into my eyes.

I dropped my head and fiddled with my fingers.

"I, uh, not really," I stated simply.

We finished the appointment and I walked out with my head held high.

I left hearing Gianna tell a woman that they weren't running a daycare service and that they needed to come get their child.

I grimaced at how stupid a woman had to be to talk right in front of the poor girl.

**BPOV:**

Alice had left a few minutes pass 9:00 when Charlie called to tell me he would staying at the station late.

Renee called about half an hour later and said she would be staying late at the shop also.

Emmett texted me and said not to wait up and that he was going to, "Cullen's"

I shook my head and sat down on my couch.

My door bell rang at around 10:00 and I hopped up thinking it was Alice.

I opened the door and saw him standing there.

His brushing 7 foot height, probably able to pick up a semi truck, dripping best friendness was standing in my door way.

"Jake!" I shouted while jumping in his arms.

"Bella, nice to see you too," He said laughing while he hugged me.

I pulled him into the house out of the rain and said, "How are you? Why are you here? Shouldn't you be on the rez?"

"I should be in bed right now, but heard this rumor you had gotten AIDS and were stuck in bed… I obviously knew it wasn't true, but Felix made me he promise I would come down and check on you," He said smiling.

"Well, why didn't Felix come down?" I asked while leading him to the kitchen.

"He was afraid you were still mad at him for that last argument," He said sitting down at the kitchen table.

"Do you want anything to drink?" I asked.

"Sure, water, please," He said.

"Well when you go home you tell him I am not mad at him. Just simply annoyed. How have you been?" I asked.

He stayed until midnight and when he was said he had to go I basically begged him to spend the night which he said would have to happen another night.

I went upstairs to bed well and ready to catch some Z's, when I heard Renee and Charlie come in.

_The same time?_

I went to bed and right when my head hit the pillow my phone buzzed.

Groaning I flipped open the phone and read the message from none other than…

Edward.

***

**JAKE!!!! YAY!!!**

**I mean…so what do you think?**

**Will there be an Edward/Jake fight? Hm…**

**Hey…What happened to Edward's parents?**

**If I can get like 5 reviews I would most defiantly tell you next chapter!**

**Luv ya!**


	6. His Story & Thank You's

**Oh my gosh! I was in the middle of writing this on Friday when my BlackBerry vibrates and tells me I got a review! 5 reviews! Yay! Enjoy! (I was about to give you a filler so please review!)**

*******

**EPOV:**

I was sitting in my physiologist's office again.

It was my fourth visit and last visit she had asked me to think about telling her about my parents the last visit.

I guess that was the only thing I was holding back on.

Other than the drugs, alcohol, Bella, and talking to myself.

Yeah.

"So, Edward, how are things?" She asked as she sat down.

According to the PH.D on her wall her name was Mrs. Marks.

"Great. I thought about telling you about my, my parents. I think I'm ready," I said, jumping to the point.

I was going to lose my nerve if I didn't just tell her.

"Alright, when you're ready," She said crossing her legs

She gave me a reassuring smile and I managed a small smile back.

I looked down at the couch and lean back with my eyes close.

"I was thirteen when it happened…"

_FLASHBACK:_

"_Hey, Mom, I'm going over to Colin's," I shouted up the stairs._

"_Alright, text me later," She called._

"_Okay!" I yelled back._

"_Love you!" She called._

"_Love you too," I yelled back not quite as loud._

_It was embarrassing to go prancing around the neighborhood yelling, 'I love you,' to your mom._

_I walked past my dad who was on the couch watching TV and he asked, "Where are you going?"_

"_Colin's," I said._

"_Did you get your homework done?" He asked._

"_Yes," I lied easily._

"_Alright, go ahead," He said._

"_Bye," I said._

_I left and headed over to Colin's house._

_We hung out for a little bit and then I went home._

_I knocked on the door since it was locked and no one answered._

_I walked around to the back, opened the gate, went to the back door and walked inside._

"_Mom! Dad! I'm home!" I called while slipping off my shoes._

_I heard a few crashes and then a loud scream._

"_Mom?" I called._

"_Edward! Run!" She screamed._

_I hesitated._

_It's human instinct to hesitate._

_I saw the big bulky man standing at the top of my stairs and I knew I wouldn't be able to take him._

_I sprinted to the front door completely forgetting it was locked so I had to switch the dead bolt and then I ran out the door._

_I looked both directions and ran down the street to the left._

_I sprinted to the Evan's house to get help._

_I banged on the door and no one answered._

"_Shit," I said remembering they were on a camping trip._

"_Fuck!" I screamed spotting the bulky man down the road._

_I sprinted around the circle and ran to the house across the street from mine._

_I banged on the door and no one answered._

_I saw the man go back into my house and I made a bold decision._

_I couldn't just stand there helpless I had to help them._

_I ran to my back yard again climbed up the trellis to my window._

_I opened it and slid inside._

_Shit it was so much like a scary movie._

_I slipped inside my room and surveyed for weapons: baseball bat, old Ka-bar from camping with dad, sword from uncle, and a BB gun._

_I grabbed the baseball bat, slipped the Ka-bar clip on my jeans, slipped the sword behind the door, and grabbed the BB gun._

_I tucked the baseball bat under my arm and gripped the BB gun._

_I slowly trailed through the house, searching the spare bedroom, the laundry room and then I faced the hallway._

_I slowly went through and glanced down the stairs._

_I swung the gun to the other spare bedroom and walked inside._

_I didn't see anyone but I checked under the bed and in the closet also._

_I left and went into my parent's bedroom._

_I slowly entered and saw the intruder standing over my mom._

_My dad was on the bed face down._

_Breathing or not, I wasn't sure._

_I crept up behind the intruder and hit the guy in the back of the head with the butt of the gun._

**(What did you think he was going to shoot BB's at him?)**

_He turned around and I threw the gun into his gut._

_He bent slightly but I didn't give him time._

_I drew the baseball bat and hit him over the back._

_He got on his hands and knees and I hit him again._

_Across the back._

_He crumpled and lay on the floor._

_I'm not stupid; I've seen the scary movies._

_He wasn't dead._

_I held the baseball bat and walked around him._

_A slight twitch and I was prepared to kill him._

_I bent next to my mom and whispered, "Mom? Are you okay?"_

_It was dumb to whisper but it was just one of those moments where you think if everything stays quiet then nothing bad will happen._

_She gripped my upper arm._

_I looked down at my mom and noticed the ripped blouse and no pants._

_I looked away and bit my tongue._

"_You're dad tried but he wasn't strong enough. Edward, I love you, and your father loved you too. Get help, please," She whispered._

"_I love you too, mom," I said._

_Her grip on my arm loosened and my body shook violently._

_Her hand fell away and I turned to the crumpled man._

_His back was rising and falling slowly, he was still alive._

_I drew the bat up and beat it down on his head, repeatedly._

_I did it until it made a squish sound and stopped._

_I knelt on the ground and cried._

_I was so disgusted with myself, for crying, for letting it happen, for killing someone, for letting my parents die, I threw up._

_I wiped my mouth, discarded the weapons and walked downstairs._

_I grabbed the kitchen phone and dialed 911._

"_Hello, 911 Emergency. How may I help you?" A woman asked._

"_Someone broke in and killed my mom and dad. Can you send someone here? My address is 6720 Beach Hill Court," I said, voice tight._

"_Of course, do you want me to stay on the line—"I hung up on the too nice of a voice and slid down the cabinets._

_I sat on the floor and rocked myself._

_A good ten minutes later I heard the sirens pull up._

_The door burst open from the back and the front and men piled in._

_A woman took notice of me and came over._

"_Are you okay?" She asked._

_I shook my head and she pulled me to my feet._

_I really just wanted to sit back down but she made me walk out the front door to the ambulance._

_The man hadn't hurt me so the ambulance worker didn't find anything wrong with me._

_Except for the scar down my leg from breaking it last spring._

"_Sweetie, what's your name?" The woman police officer asked._

_I shook my head again and she said, "We need to know your name."_

_I shook my head again and she sighed._

_I climbed off the ambulance and walked to my house._

_I sat on the porch swing curled up upon myself._

"_They're dead," I whispered to myself._

_Someone tugged me up and led me to a police car a few minutes later._

_While in the station I was questioned._

_I shook my head to their questions and continued to think of the things I had done._

_I didn't tell my dad I loved him when I left._

_I could have but I didn't._

_I lied to him right before I left._

_The last thing I said to him was a lie._

_I didn't shout I loved my mom loud and proud like I should have._

_I didn't beat the guys head in enough times for raping my mother._

_And killing her._

_And killing my father._

_A few hours later I didn't feel any better._

_A small fragile looking girl walked inside._

_They had told me to talk to the big police men and what not but I couldn't._

_The girl sat down and said, "Hi, I'm Mrs. Anderson. What's your name?"_

"_Edward," I whispered, my voice quiet and odd._

"_How are you Edward?" She asked._

_I shook my head and she said, "Can you tell me what happened?"_

_I swallowed and looked at her._

_I took in her features and got angry._

_All I saw was pity._

_I stood up and screamed, "You want to know what happened? Everyone just wants to know what happened! I'll tell you what happened! That man broke into my house, raped my mom, killed her, and then killed my dad! You can probably tell I was a little angry about that so I hit him in the back of the head with the butt of my BB gun, I pushed the butt of my BB gun into his gut, hit a bat over his back, did it again just for good measure, and then beat his brains in! Is that what you wanted to know? Is it?"_

_She swallowed and I didn't feel a bit of resentment for yelling at her._

_She asked for it._

_She left the room and I slid down on to the floor and cried._

_I felt disgusted about myself again and just let it out._

_I kicked the table and threw the chairs around until I just couldn't anymore._

_I was done._

_Spent._

_Tired._

_I needed to sleep._

_My parents would be asleep forever._

_And ever._

_A few minutes later the woman led me out of the room and a few months later after being in foster homes I was in an orphanage._

_At first I was abusive to myself and others._

_Just the big kids, the ones bigger than myself._

_I did it just to show myself I could._

_When they would pick on children smaller than themselves I would hurt them, not kill, just hurt._

_I soon became the quiet kid in the corner._

_The only little girl I was friends with had been dumped in the orphanage by her abusive father._

_We weren't friends…more acquaintances._

_She did cocaine._

_I didn't know if that was bad, I didn't listen to the health teachers._

_One day I went to her room and found her dead on the floor with her coke on her desk._

_I ran to get help and later learnt she OD._

_It was horrible._

_A few months later Esme and Carlisle visited._

_They adopted me and I wasn't okay with it._

_I was 15 then and lashed out at people at my school._

_I soon became more closer to Carlisle and Esme._

_I didn't let anyone talk trash about either of them and stood up for the people in need._

_Then I fell into silence again._

_END OF FLASHBACK_

She sniffled and her face was unreadable.

Probably for the best, pity might have set me off.

"That's tragic," She said.

I nodded and she asked, "Did you tell anyone other than Mrs. Anderson?"

I shook my head and she said, "So Esme and Carlisle don't know?"

I shook my head again and she said, "Why don't you come back next week and we'll talk about this. Okay?"

I nodded and she stood up.

I stood up also and then walked over to her.

I said, "Thank you," and then walked out of the office.

***  
**BPOV:**

I woke up and skipped school again.

I wasn't in the mood.

I guess saying my life sucked would be a lie.

I was feeling really sick lately.

My stomach was twisted and whenever I thought about even going near my coke I would throw up.

I would think about Edward and the twist would get worse.

A few months later I had thrown away my coke and my stomach pains went away.

I didn't feel so addicted to it anymore either.

I text Alice and, since it was Spring Break, told her to come over for the rest of the week.

She brought two suitcases and I told her what had been happening.

"Who would have known all it took was someone to get mad at you for doing that…" She trailed.

"Right, so we need to stay in her for the rest of Spring Break so I don't go back," I said.

She nodded and by the end of break all I craved was to leave the damn room.

The last day of Spring Break I requested visiting rights.

Alice agreed and I texted Edward.

'_Will you come over? –B'_

'_Why? So you can yell at me? –E'_

'_I need to tell you something. –B'_

'_Fine. –E'_

He arrived a few minutes later and Emmett brought him up.

I kicked Alice out and I sat Edward on the bed.

"I just wanted to…thank? You?" I said, it sounding more like a question than I meant for it to.

"For what?"He asked.

"After you came over my stomach hurt. And every time I went near my coke I threw up. And every time I thought about you my stomach would knot further. Alice kept me here for Spring Break. I'm not…addicted anymore," I said.

He nodded and said, "Glad to be of service."

He started to get up and I pulled him back down.

I got on my knees in front of him and I was about to 'thank him' when he stopped me.

"What are you doing?" He asked, my hands in his.

"I'm thanking you," I said, eyes down.

I wasn't normally shy but he brought it out in me.

"By doing that?" He asked.

I nodded and said, "That's how everyone wants me to thank them, of course."

He brought me up off my knees and sat me on the bed.

"Bella, I wouldn't ever want you to do that to me without us being in a relationship," He said.

"Oh," I said, eyes still down.

He pulled my chin up and said, "I like you for who you are, not your body. Not that that isn't bad, but you saying thank you is more than enough."

I looked in his eyes and searched for any fakeness or amusement.

None.

He liked me for who I was…

I leaned forward as did he.

I flicked my eyes to his lips and then his eyes.

Back and forth.

Our lips met.

***

**Review. Please.**

**By the way the weapons in Edward's story are actual things in my brother's room so they aren't just random things.**


	7. Did We Just Become Best Friends?

**BPOV:**

His tongue swept across my bottom lip and I let him in. I scooted closer to him and wrapped my hands in his hair. His tongue was exploring my mouth and I moaned. I was getting into it and I think so was he.

"Bella! Edward! Open the door!" The banging on the door was from none other than Alice.

The little moment-breaking-pixie continued to beat on the door. I pulled away from him, rather reluctantly, our foreheads touching, staring into each other's eyes.

"Bella! Edward! Damn it!" Alice continued.

I sighed and kissed him once more before getting up and opening the door. "Yes, Alice?" I asked.

"Oh, I thought you two must have fallen out the window or something. Whatcha doin?" She asked.

I glanced back at Edward and then opened the door. She came in and I said, "We were just talking."

"Did I interrupt or something?" She asked pausing. I shrugged and mumbled, "Kind of." She grinned and sat on the bed next to Edward.

"Hmm…What were you two doing in here? The level of hormones in here is nerve racking," She said staring at me.

"Oh…um…we…were uh…" I couldn't find a way to say anything.

_What did this change for us? Are we going out? Does he want to kiss me again? Is he feeling the same thing as me? Did he feel the same thing as me when we kissed? When the hell did I suddenly become so insecure?_

"We were just talking, Alice, I've got to get home, see you tomorrow, I suppose?" He asked.

She nodded and then walked out of the room without a second glance. I sat on the bed where he had just vacated and stared at my shoes. _What are we doing?_ _I can't be with him…he hates me and I hate him._ _Mutual feelings._ _That kiss doesn't change anything…does it?_ _Gah! Why can't I just know these answers?_

"Alice…" I trailed off wondering if I could tell her what just happened…

"Yes, Bella?" She asked turning to me.

"Where's my phone?" I asked quickly changing the topic.

She looked around and then pulled it off my night stand. She handed it to me and then I grabbed it. I flipped it open and sent him a text.

'_We need to talk. –B'_

"Oh! Guess who's in Emmett's room!" Alice said turning to me.

"Who?" I asked.

"Guess!" She said.

"Um…Cowboy?" I asked toying with my phone.

"No…someone related to him…" She trailed off.

"Who?" I asked giving up.

"Rosalie Hale. Apparently they have been going out for two months!" She exclaimed.

"Nuh uh!" I said standing up.

She nodded and I said, "Why didn't he tell me?"

She shrugged and I went to Emmett's room. I was poised to knock when I heard a giggle and a, "Emmett you're so funny." I stopped myself and smiled.

_Wouldn't want to ruin the moment for the two…_

I turned back to my room and said to Alice, "I'll leave them be, I can always talk to him later." She nodded and then…the worse thing ever. We played Bella Barbie. Uck.

**EPOV:**

_Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. No! Alice! Go away! Gah! You're ruining the damn moment! God… No don't pull away. Yes come back. No, don't let her in! She won't leave! You let her in…what's wrong with you, Bella? She'll never leave! Gah!_

"Hmm…What were you two doing in here? The level of hormones in here is nerve racking," She said staring at Bella.

Bella stuttered out something and then froze. _Why does that keep happening?_ _Isn't she supposed to be the strong-willed, cocaine snorting, like vampire slayer or whatever?_ _What happened to the I-take-no-shit-from-anybody-yes-that-includes-you-Edward-Cullen Bella?_

"We were just talking, Alice, I've got to get home, see you tomorrow, I suppose?" I asked surprised my voice didn't give away just how goddamn fucking confused I was.

She nodded and I left without looking at anyone. _Maybe if I get out now everything will make sense._ _Don't look at her. Don't look at her. Don't look at her._ _Congratulations. You might not be as obsessed as we thought…_ I shook my head and walked past Emmett's door.

There was giggling and then a girl saying, "Stop! Emmett! You're too funny!"

_ROSALIE? Oh that's right…She's going out with Emmett. Never mind, turn off the alarms, all is okay in my world. Yeah. Right._

I walk out of the house and followed the short distance to my place. I walked inside and took notice of Esme and Carlisle sitting on the couch watching TV.

_Is that all they do? Watch TV? Boring… _I shook my head and went to my room after saying hello to them.My phone buzzed and it was from Bella.

'_We need to talk. –B'_

"Don't I know it," I said to no one.

The next morning I woke up with a start. The dream I had been having was entirely inappropriate to be having… I wiped the sweat off my forehead and glanced at my clock.

_5:34 A.M._

"Jesus," I mumbled. I rolled out of bed and went to take a shower. A cold shower. A _very _cold shower. I got out and dried off. I looked at myself in the mirror and tried to tame my hair. _Nope… _I sighed frustrated and went back to my room.I pulled on clothes and traveled downstairs.It was the last day of Spring Break and I was going to live it to the fullest before I had to go back to jail…er school.

And see my damn therapist. Jesus Christ I did not want to talk to her again. I told her my life story the last visit and now she wanted to 'talk' about it. The last thing I wanted to do was talk about it. Maybe burn off that part of my mind… Yeah…

And God knows she would convince me to tell Esme and Carlisle and then I would have to relive that moment once again. I didn't want to do that. I was sitting on my couch watching TV when Esme came down the stairs. "Oh, what are you doing up?" She asked.

"I woke up around 5:30 this morning. I had a…nightmare," I said lying smoothly. She wouldn't want to even know what I had dreamt of last night. She nodded and said, "Do you want to talk about it."

_With Bella…yes. With you? No thanks, I'll pass._

I shook my head and said, "No. It was just something stupid. The normal going back to school nightmares." _Is it bad that I'm just this good at lying?_

She nodded and said, "I'm going to start breakfast." I nodded and she went into the kitchen.

I leaned back into the couch and realized how tense I had been. _What the hell?_ My phone buzzed and I opened it. _'Can you come over at noon? I really want to talk about this… -B'_ _Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit._ _I can't want to!_

I sighed and sent her a quick reply saying I would be there. It wasn't that I didn't want to see her it was that I didn't want to have the awkward conversation. Awkward is never fun. I sighed and after eating breakfast decided that I needed to talk to someone.

Who better to talk to then…Jasper? I walked to his house after telling Esme where I was going…still hadn't seen Carlisle…and knocked on his door. It swung open to Rosalie.

"Hello Rosie. How'd you get home so fast weren't—" She cut me off though. "Haha. That's so funny, Edward!" She said slightly shaking her head.

_Ah…she wasn't supposed to be out… Nice…_

I smirked and said, "Is Jasper home?" She nodded and pointed to the stairs. I walked upstairs and found Jasper staring at the TV. He was watching that show Rob and Big.

"Ello, Jasper," I said sitting down on his big rollie chair.

"Hey Edward," He said tearing his eyes away from the TV.

"So, I need some…advice," I said.

"Sure, what for?" He asked.

"Well…Bella and I kissed and I don't know what to say to her because I'm supposed to meet her in," I glanced at the clock on his dresser and felt my eyes widen, "Half an hour. What am I supposed to say? What am I supposed to do? Are we going out now? I mean…we hate each other shouldn't we just…I don't know."

"You sound confused," He stated.

I snorted and said, "That's all you have for me?"

"Just talk to her, and if you want to make it to her house in time, you should leave now," He said.

"Fine, have fun watching whatever this is," I said gesturing towards the screen.

He nodded and I left. _Well wasn't he just a helpful little person. _I walked over to Bella's house which wasn't far from Jasper's place and was about to knock on the door when it swung open. "Hi, Be-" I started but she cut me off.

"Hi, Alice, come on up," She said.

I looked at her strangely and she mouthed, 'dad and Emmett.' I nodded and she drug me up the stairs. I sat on her bed and she sat next to me after closing and locking her door. I stared at my feet and saw her doing the same.

I was about to ask what had happened to her confidence when she turned to me. "I'm so nervous around you," she admitted.

I raised an eyebrow and said, "You're nervous around me? I'm nervous around you too."

"Really?" She asked.

I nodded and she breathed a sigh of relief. "That makes me feel so much better," She said.

I nodded again and said, "So…I was um, wondering. The kiss we shared yesterday…what does that, uh, change between us?"

She shrugged and said, "I don't know, I thought we hated each other…"

"I think we do," I said.

She nodded and she said, "I don't want to hate you, it's just I didn't like how you told me what I was 'doing to myself' was bad. I mean…it wasn't your business…but I guess my mind thought otherwise so I quit…"

I nodded and fought the smile that wanted to come across my face when she made quotation marks around 'doing to myself.' "So, I never really hated you…just what you were doing."

She nodded and said, "But…why?"

I cringed and said, "I-I, um, don't really want to talk about it."

She stared at me for a few minutes before saying, "My life is pretty messed up, you can tell me anything."

She was being so nice, and…I almost told her when I realized I didn't know her all that well. "Maybe I should tell you when I get to know you better?" I asked.

She nodded and remained silent. _Did I hurt her feelings? _"Bella?" I asked.

She shook her head and turned back to me. "Can…can you just go, please," She said turning back away from me.

"Bella, it's not like I don't want to tell you, but it's complicated," I explained.

She nodded but she spoke her voice broke, "Just please go, Edward, I'll see you at school tomorrow."

"Bella, did I say something?" I asked, worried I had said something to hurt her.

"No, I just want to be alone," She said. I heard tears in her voice and I stood up slowly. I walked to the door and turned back before leaving.

"Bella, I just want you to know you're a really great person, and…I would tell you if I was comfortable with the story myself. But…I'm still trying to sort it out and I've had quite a few years to try and do that. I just…when I'm ready I'll tell you," I said before walking out and closing the door behind me.

**BPOV:**

Once the door closed behind him and I watched him through the window walk down my driveway and along the sidewalk towards his house. I went to my bed and reached into the desk drawer next to me. I pulled out the tiny metal blade I kept there since I stopped smoking and sat it on my bed.

I was never the cutting type, but it seemed nice to get some sort of my pain out, and if I had to cause myself physical pain for it to stop, then I was okay with that. I sat up straight on my bed and peeked out my window again. I didn't see him so it helped me stay level headed.

I put the blade against my skin and slashed, I did another line on the above it, and then one more. I sat the blade to my side and held my arm from myself, breathing through my mouth. Just because cutting helped, it didn't mean I wasn't nauseous around the blood that it produced.

I lay there in my bed for a few more minutes before opening my bedroom door with my razor in hand. The blood had stopped so I wasn't dripping any blood on the carpet. I tiptoed into the bathroom and washed my arm off. I wrapped some of the gauze around my arm, and taped it shut. I slid down my sleeve and went back to my room.

I put my jeans in the back of my closet, figuring I could just keep them for the next time. I wrapped myself in my comforter and let sleep take me away…

I was dreaming that much I was sure of. I was sitting on my bed with Edward and we were talking about our future together. Obviously it was a dream, because I would never discuss my future with anyone. Then suddenly he looked at me and a flash of pain crossed his face. "_Bella what are you doing to yourself?" _He asked me.

My arm was streaming blood and I tried to cover it up. _"Oh, Edward, I just cut myself with the kitchen knife while doing the dishes, it was an accident," _I lied.

Then suddenly the room changed and I was sitting in the Cullen's house. I was on the couch and Alice, Edward, Emmett, Charlie, Renee, Dr. Cullen, and Mrs. Cullen were sitting around me. _"We're only doing this because we love you," _Alice said.

"_What are you talking about? What's going on?" _I asked.

I looked down at my arm and it was smooth. There were no cuts or anything on my arm. I sighed in relief and Edward said, _"Bella, why?"_

"_What are you talking about, Edward?" _I said.

"_You're hurting yourself, Bella, why?" _He asked.

"_I-I don't understand," _I admitted.

Suddenly Alice's hand was on my arm and she was pulling up my shirt. I panicked, I didn't know why, but I started panicking. Something told me if she pulled up my shirt, it wouldn't be good. I was too late; she pulled up my shirt and revealed my stomach. Long slashes on my stomach, some that were scarred, and some that were still trying to heal.

"_Why, Bella? I thought you stopped this? Why would you hurt me like this?"_ He asked.

"_I'm, I'm so sorry, Edward, I-I didn't mean to hurt anyone,"_ I admitted.

He shook his head and my shirt dropped down. He stood up and started walking away. I stood up and started to follow him, but the more I walked, the farther he got away. I started running, in hopes of getting to him before he left. I kept running, but even though he was just walking, I stayed behind him the whole time.

Then the hallway I had been running changed into the woods. I started walking, trying to find Edward. _"Edward! Where are you?"_ I shouted.

"_I'm here, Bella," _His soft velvety voice called from behind me.

I started towards his voice, but I couldn't find him. _"Edward! Edward! Where are you?" _I shouted again.

"_I'm here, Bella, turn around," _I turned around to his voice but he wasn't there. I continued to follow his voice, having to turn around and around.

I tripped and fell down on the forest floor; I curled up and started to cry.

I woke up in bed with Emmett shaking me. "What are you doing?" I asked.

"You were shouting in your sleep, Bella, what's wrong?" He asked.

I pulled the blanket tighter to my body to cover the lines on my arm and said, "Nothing, I just had a nightmare. Thank you for waking me up, Emmett."

Even to my own ears my voice sounded dull, out of place. "You want to talk about it?" He asked.

I shook my head and looked away from him for a second. I turned back to him and said, "It was nothing, just…just…it's nothing."

"You sure?" He asked.

"Yeah, I'm sure. Thank you, Emmett," I said. He nodded and I watched him leave. I ran a hand over my face and tried to relax. I stared up at the ceiling and tried to calm down. I was still freaking out from my dream, and I was trying to understand what it meant.

_Why was Edward in my dream? And why did I care that he walked away from me? It's not like we're doing anything with each other. We hate each other. Right? I mean, even if he doesn't admit it, we both know that kiss won't change anything between us. So…what does that mean? Avoid him at all costs? No…that's weak. Give him the same treatment everyone else gets, because that's what he deserves… Yes. That's what I'll do._

Coming to my conclusion helped me calm down and I ended up falling back to sleep. When I had to actually wake up I didn't want to. I rolled out of bed and pulled on some tight pants and a tight shirt. I threw on a sweatshirt over it and went to the bathroom. I ran a brush through my hair and then brushed my teeth. I went downstairs after grabbing my back pack and waited for Emmett.

I was sitting on the couch when Emmett finally came downstairs. He went to the kitchen and ate his breakfast before going back upstairs to brush his teeth. He stomped back down the stairs and I followed him out the door. Silently we drove to school and we both got out of the car. I walked my separate way and went to my first class. Edward was in my first class.

First period was ten minutes long and was a sort of homeroom. We had no real reason to be there, it was just a way for us to get ready for the day. I was sitting at my own set of desks when suddenly the chair next to me pulled out and Alice flopped down next to me.

She nodded at me and I nodded back. Edward walked into the room and I saw several of the girls follow him to the seat in front of Alice and I. I watched him sit down and then he turned around. "Hey Alice, Bella," He said.

I nodded at him, even though I wanted to say hi to him and have a conversation, I was treating him like everyone else. Alice grumbled something that sounded like, "Fucking morning person." I smiled and shook my head.

The whole class period everyone was pretty quiet. There were only a few more weeks of school and everyone was either wound up or wound down. I made sure my homeroom was wound down. Second period was boring. I wasn't even fully listening so when the teacher called on me I glared at her and she said, "You need to pay attention like everyone else."

I didn't say anything to her and I think that was worse. She probably wanted me to shout or roll my eyes or give her something, but I learned that if you stay quiet it bothers them more. She went back to teaching and ended up giving some poor kid detention for gum chewing, which was totally allowed, she just needed a reason to freak out.

Last period rolled by and I found myself in the back of the room of Mr. Banner's classroom. Edward walked in and took his seat across from me in the biology room. I stared at his back as Mr. Banner started class and nearly got caught when he turned around. I turned my attention to Mr. Banner and he chose to acknowledge me and asked me a question.

I stared at him and then at the board behind him. "It would only make sense if I said yes, but if I said no, that if the two genes mixed it would cause mutation, that would be too complicated. Yes, the two genes could mix, Mr. Banner."

"Thank you, Ms. Swan," He said and turned back to his board.

I felt a couple pair of eyes on me and looked around for them out. I glared at the pig tailed girl in front of me until she turned around, I glared at the jock across the room, I glared at the girl who thought I was an emo kid who didn't know anything, and then I glared at Edward. He didn't flinch and I upped my game. He flinched and turned back to Mr. Banner.

At the end of class I walked out without my homework and went to my Emmett's jeep. I climbed inside when suddenly Edward appeared. He freakin just appeared, no 'walk-around-the-car-oh-I-see-him' or 'cough-to-make-my-presence-known'. He just appeared.

"What was with melting my face off in Biology?" He asked, he sounded angry. Angry Edward kind of turned me on.

"What are you talking about, Cullen?" I asked while throwing my backpack in the back. I saw Emmett making his way over with his arm around Rose's waist.

"I'm talking about the glare you shot at me in Biology, _Swan_," He said.

Emmett was only a few yards away from us then. "Listen, Cullen, I thought it over, and I let you know what I figure out. That kiss we shared, if you can even call it that, was nothing. I didn't feel anything and if you did then you imagined it. I don't want anything between us, so leave me alone. I'm tired of your 'holier-than-thou' bullshit. Leave. Me. Alone," I said.

And then Emmett was there, kissing Rose's cheek and opening her car door. "Hey, Cullen, you riding with us?" Emmett asked.

"Nope," He said and walked away.

"What was that?" He asked while starting up the jeep.

"I have no idea," I said.

He drove us home and I went to sleep quickly. Expect I had nightmares so there was no use and calling it 'sleep'. Alice didn't come over and I figured she was probably mad at me because Edward had been running his mouth. _Some people just can't take a hint._

I was downstairs making dinner when Emmett came home and looked pissed off. He came into the kitchen after taking off his shoes and throwing his keys in the little holder at the front of the house. He was practically fuming.

"What did you do?" He asked.

I took in the tick in his jaw and figured playing innocent wouldn't be good. "What did I do with whom, Emmett…be specific," I said.

"_Cullen_," He seethed.

"Well, Emmett, we kissed, and I told him that didn't change anything between us," I said calmly.

"You what?" He shouted.

"It was completely mutual," I said while stirring the pot on the stove, "No one was really responsible, I just wanted him to know I wasn't going to be his best friend."

"The whole damn Cullen family hates us now, Bella, I went by today to talk to Edward and CC- I mean Dr. Cullen practically snarled at me," He said.

"Well that is not my fault, if he can't take rejection, that's him not me," I said.

"You're going to make this right, Bella, if you don't I'll never talk to you again," He said.

I sighed and said, "What do you want me to do?"

"Apologize and kiss him if you have to, Bella," He said.

I turned to him and said, "You really want me to kiss him, Emmett?"

"No, not at all. I actually want to go punch Edward in his pretty little face for even thinking about kissing you, but I can't do that. Please just go apologize, Bella," He said.

"Fine, after dinner," I said.

I didn't expect him to say anything else and he didn't. After dinner I went upstairs and pulled on a different pair of pants and a different shirt. I walked over to the Cullen's house and knocked on the door after climbing their long driveway.

Dr. Cullen opened the door and stared down at me. "Hello Bella, how can I help you?" He asked.

He seemed kind of calm, like…scary calm. I knew there was no reason to be scared of Dr. Cullen; he wouldn't hurt me that much I was sure of, but I wouldn't put it past him to give me a thorough tongue lashing. "Hi, Dr. Cullen, I was hoping to talk to Edward," I said.

"I don't think he's here right now, Bella, is there something you would like me to tell him?" He asked.

"Can you tell him I need to talk to him? And also tell him I'm sorry, and I was out of line, and that I—"

"He's upstairs, Bella," He said and opened the door wider for me.

I walked up the stairs to his room and knocked on the door. "Yeah," He called. I opened the door and he shot out of his seat on his bed. "What are you doing here?" He growled.

I raised an eyebrow and said, "First of all, Edward, you're low. You get your whole family to hate on mine just because I don't want to hold your hand and everything, dumb. Second of all, I'm sorry. I really am what I said…I didn't mean it. I felt something, a felt a lot of something, and I like you. I just am not good with these feelings and I don't like how I feel."

He stared at me for a second and said, "You felt something too?"

"Yeah," I said.

He sighed and sat back down. "Good I thought I had actually imagined the whole thing."

I shook my head and said, "You definitely didn't imagine those feelings."

I sat next to him on the bed and we sat together in silence. I was waiting for something to happen, him to say something, the roof to collapse, something…

I turned to him and said, "Just because we kissed does that mean we have to have something between us?"

He sat for a second and said, "Of course not, I just thought…that…maybe, you wanted something as much as I did."

I blanched at his confession. "Can we have something?" I asked.

"I think we can, but first we need to get some things out of the air…" He said.

"Oh, okay," I said.

"But we can work up to that," He said.

I was relieved, I didn't really want to talk about my life just yet. "Good," I said.

We sat in silence for a few more moments and then I said, "I think that I should probably head home."

"Okay, I'll, uh, walk you to the door," He said.

We stood up and he led me downstairs. At the front door he walked outside onto the porch with me. I felt the curtains open and a couple pair of eyes watching us. "Thanks for understanding," I said.

"No problem, and I didn't have anything with them getting angry, they just noticed I was angry and I just said it was something that you and I did," He explained.

I nodded and said, "Next time don't mention me." I laughed and he laughed with me.

We stood there for another few seconds and I turned towards him. I leaned up on my tip toes and kissed his cheek softly. "I'm sorry for being a crazy bitch," I whispered in his ear before going back on my flat feet.

He looked down at me and grinned. He pushed a strand of my hair behind my ear and said, "It's okay, I think I like it."

I smiled and he kissed my forehead. I gave him a parting smile and turned back to his driveway. I walked down the winding driveway and at the end I let my goofy smile spread across my face and practically skipped to my house.

**Okay, I left…..and now I'm back! Updating like lightning. Just kidding, I'm not that fast. Review and I'll update faster! **


	8. Not Again

**I liked the response I got from last chapter. **** I know everything is running quickly, but I'm slowly it down, and lots of…turns of events are going to happen in this chapter. Some of the things I think you might have predicted and some of the things I hinted at.**

**Here you go and don't forget to review!**

**BPOV:**

I wasn't sure what compelled me to stay in bed the next day, but whatever it was, it practically screamed at me to stay in bed. I lay in bed for a half an hour after my alarm went off, before Emmett came into my room. We had made up last night, after I came home and told him everything was cool with the Cullen's.

He sat at the end of my bed and said, "I can understand why you wouldn't want to go to school today, Bells."

I nodded and he said, "I can call in sick for you, that a way you have an excused absence."

I smiled and said, "Thank you Em, would you really do that for me?"

He looked up from the floor and looked me in the eye. "Of course, Bells, you've covered for me for far worse than staying home."

I let my smile grow wider and said, "You really are the best, Em."

He smiled and stood up. He patted my leg and said, "Don't get soft on me now, Bella."

He walked out the door and I relaxed in my bed. I stayed in bed the whole day and felt jittery. I had only had the feeling one other time, but I was done with it, so the feelings shouldn't have been so…strong. I grabbed my blade and cut my arm, making three lines over the healed skin of last time. I let the bleeding stop on its own and went to the bathroom to wash my arm.

I stood in the bathroom and instinctively reached under the cabinet. I pulled out the tampons I had hidden under there; I never used them, only for… My eyes widened at the box in my hand and I dumped the contents on the counter. One or two tampons rolled onto the floor and I let them, because sitting on the counter, under a pile of plastic tubes and adhesive-stuck paper was a little baggy. In the baggy were two little rocks.

My eyes widened further at my extreme carelessness, _how could I have forgotten my emergency stash? _I was screaming at myself, but somewhere, somewhere deep inside my body I was happy. I stared down at the two little rocks and thought to myself, _one more time couldn't hurt…_

I picked up the bag and fought with myself. _Alice would be so disappointed._

_Alice doesn't have to know…_

_What about Edward?_

_What about him? He's just guy, what have they ever done for me?_

I carried the bag to my room with one of the tubes. I sat them on my desk and pulled out the razor from my duck. _How did I forget you? _I silently stared at the three things that I had used to calm myself down for years. The one thing I could rely on to help the painful memories stay away, cutting had taken over, but not very well. I didn't have nightmares when I was on coke, cutting just blocked out the right nightmares.

I opened the bag and dumped the two rocks onto the desk. I glanced behind me to check the door, and sure enough, my instincts made sure to lock the door. I used the razor to cut the rocks up. I shaped them into lines and slowly opened the tampon. I stared at my hands, unraveling the adhesive paper, pulling out the tube with the cotton and string in it. I pulled it out and then held the white circular tube in my hand.

I leant forward with the tube pressed againt my nose and my finger pushed against the opposite side of my nose. I bent my head forward towards the lines and didn't think about it. I just did…

**EPOV:**

Bella didn't go to school the first day back from spring break. I was worried, but realized it wasn't my place to worry. When the teacher didn't ask where Bella was in homeroom, I figured her dad must've called her in sick.

The day went by slowly and by the end of school I was ready to leave. I made plans with Emmett for after my appointment with Mrs. Marks. I planned on telling her about Bella and what she had been doing, because she wasn't doing it anymore and I wasn't going to provide a last name anyways.

Esme drove me there and I was let into her 'office' when I walked in. "So, Edward, how have you been?" Mrs. Marks asked.

"I've been great, and yourself?" I asked.

"Wonderful, now, every time we have an appointment we're supposed to open up and share something, correct?" She asked.

"Yeah, I actually had something in mind to share today," I said.

"Really, what is that?" She asked.

"Well, I didn't actually tell you _everything_ when we first met, my sister Alice," I started.

She nodded and I said, "Well, she has this friend from her orphanage, her friend's name is Bella."

She nodded again and I said, "Bella _use _to do drugs, and I can't stress the word enough, because she recently stopped."

She nodded and I said, "Well Bella use to do…um, coke, like, cocaine, and I just felt so protective of her and the first real conversation I had with her I asked her what she was doing to herself—"

"Edward, did you say Bella did cocaine?" Mrs. Marks asked.

I nodded and she said, "Wasn't that the drug your friend from your orphanage used?"

I nodded and said, "That's why I think I was so protective of her, anyways, she stopped doing cocaine, and I'm so lost in our relationship right now, but I still want to like be with her…but I'm not sure where our relationship stands…"

"Have you two talked about it?" She asked.

"Of course, but… I mean she is so… She has major mood swings, I mean, one minute we're kissing on my porch the next she's not at school and doesn't even text or call me before or after. I mean I'm not her father and she doesn't have to check in with me, but I guess I just…"

"Missed her?" Mrs. Marks supplied.

"Yeah," I said, slightly worried I was over sharing.

"Well, that's normal. I still worry when my boyfriend doesn't check in with me. We don't live with each other yet, so I'm always worried he's off doing something… I haven't told you about my boyfriend yet," She said.

I shook my head, slightly confused why it would matter. "My boyfriend, James, use to do some very bad drugs, and he recently stopped. He's been clean for a few months and as I said we don't live with each other so I'm constantly worrying he's back to his drugs, is that why you wanted her to call you?" She asked.

I shrugged and thought over it… Now that I thought about it, consciously I hadn't thought about it, but when she said it, my sub-conscious decided to clue me in on my worries. I was completely frightened Bella would go back to her drugs and lunatic ways, and that was no way to have a relationship.

I nodded to confirm her suspicions and she said, "Do you know how I know he isn't doing drugs?"

I shook my head, hanging on her every word. "Trust," She stated simply

"But how can you trust him so completely? Even if he doesn't want to I know drugs aren't the easiest thing to give up. He could easily use the drugs and then just not tell you, how do you know—"

"Edward, James and I built a relationship on trust. Like all relationships, you have to have trust. Ours is just based on it, if I didn't trust James, I would fret, but I trust him, completely," She said.

"How?" I asked.

"Well, before James I did drugs, and the reason I did drugs was because I had a horrible home life. Though it wasn't as worse as some, I did make it out alive, but when I was at my orphanage I found it was the easiest way to get rid of my nightmares. I quit and got help, so I know the signs…I know that when he comes to my house and he doesn't show those signs he just strengthens our trust so I don't even worry about it anymore," She explained.

"I know the signs…" I said slowly.

"And can you trust Bella?" She asked.

"I'm not sure…" I admitted.

"Perhaps you two need to sit down and have a conversation about it?" She asked.

"But I don't know if we have that type of relationship…"

She was silent, not the silent like, 'I-don't-know-what-to-say' silent, the, 'you-have-to-figure-it-out-because-I-can't-give-you-the-answer' silent. The annoying therapist silence. It was annoying.

I stared and said, "I guess we can be considered friends, at least."

She nodded and I said, "But I mean, even her best friend couldn't get it through her thick skull, how am I going to if I'm just a…friend."

"You'll have to figure that out, and I think that's a wonderful way to end our session," She said.

I stood up and said good bye before walking out to Esme. The ride home was silent and when we did get home I told her I was going to Emmett's. I knocked on the door and Chief Swan answered the door. "Oh, hi, Edward, how are you?" He asked.

"Great, Chief Swan, how are you?" I asked.

"I'm good, I was just heading out, but Emmett is upstairs," He said.

I nodded and he let me in. "See you later, Chief Swan," I said as he left.

I looked around and didn't spot Renee. I walked up the stairs and knocked on Bella's door. She didn't answer so I tried the door knob, it was locked. I knocked a little bit harder on the door and waited. She still didn't answer. I pulled out my phone and texted her before going into Emmett's room.

I was sitting on his bed while he was in his closet trying to find something when my phone vibrated again. I pulled it out, in hopes of it being Bella, and was disappointed to find it was Alice. I returned her text and sighed. I was getting worried when Emmett told me we were going to Jasper's house. We were leaving when Emmett said he had to go tell Bella.

I watched from the bottom of the stairs as he realized the door was locked and she wasn't answering. "I'm worried, she usually answers her door," He said.

"You could call her," I said.

"Nah, I'm just gonna text her and when we get home I'll check on her again," He said.

"You sure?" I asked.

"Yup, let's go," He said.

We were at Jasper's house, on our third pack when Emmett's phone rang. He waited a few seconds before looking over at me and Jasper and asking, "Is that me?"

I nodded and he pulled out his phone. He flipped it open and said, "Hello?"

Emmett held his liquor well, he was just a little slow when he drank. I heard a voice on the other side, and I could tell it was a frantic voice. Emmett said, "Slow down, Mom, what's wrong?"

The voice got shrill and I cringed. Emmett said, "Where are you taking her?" He started picking up his stuff and ran a hand through his hair when he had it together.

"Yeah, Mom, I'll be there in a few minutes," He said.

His Mom's voice got softer and he said, "It'll be okay, Mom, she's a fighter. She'll be f-fine." His voice cracked at the end and I knew something was wrong.

He was facing away from us, but the slight crack helped Jasper and I realize something was very wrong. "I love you too, Mom, be careful," He said.

"Okay," He said and flipped his phone shut.

"I've got to go," He said without turning around.

"What's wrong, Emmett?" I asked.

He stopped in his tracks and said without turning around, "Bella is going to the hospital."

I watched him disappear around the corner of Jasper's house, and like the dumbass and horrible friend I was, I let him go by himself. The beer fell from my hand and I stared in the empty space of the room.

_Not again._

**It's short, but I covered what I wanted in less words than intended, update soon. And by soon I mean like tomorrow…**


	9. Rethinking the Way I Live

**Hey, guys, thanks for the reviews! I **_**might**_** give you Bella's story next chapter if I get a good response to this chapter…**

**Enjoy!**

**(You know I haven't done this before…perhaps I should. I don't own anything; it all belongs to Stephanie Meyer…lucky)**

**EmPOV:**

"Mom," I sighed, when I found her in the waiting room.

"Oh, Emmett," she cried, and wrapped her arms around me.

"Where's Dad?" I asked.

"He couldn't get off work yet," she said.

"I'm so sorry, have they told you anything?" I asked.

"No, they won't tell me anything, they just keep telling me they're doing the best they can and to wait patiently."

She let me go and we sat down in the waiting chairs. "I hate hospitals," I muttered after a few minutes of silence had passed.

She smiled a little, "I know you do."

We waited about half an hour before my phone vibrated. I flipped it open and it was Edward that had texted me.

"_How's Bella?" _he questioned.

I texted him back, _"Don't know, we haven't gotten any info yet."_

"_Text me later," _he replied.

I flipped my phone shut and shifted in the uncomfortable seats. If I could have stuck two together they would have been a lot easier to sit in, but the tiny little things were digging into my sides and making the long wait feel even longer. Another half an hour passed and Dad showed up. We told him what was happening and he sat in the chair next to Mom and stayed quiet. A full hour had passed when a doctor came out.

"Swan?" he called.

I stood up and Mom and Dad did too. Mom nodded at the doctor and Dad stuck his hand out, introducing himself as the Chief of Police. I stared at the file in his hands, and willed it to open and show me she was alive.

"Isabella is fine," he revealed.

I let out a huge breath and sat down in the chair. I pulled out my phone and sent Edward a text, needing to tell someone. His response came telling me that that was great and if I needed anything to text him. I told him to stop acting like a girl.

"…a few weeks," the doctor finished.

I looked up at him as Mom gasped, "She has to stay here for a few weeks?"

"Well, right now we aren't sure if it was suicide attempt or if she OD, and if she OD then she'll probably go to trial," the doctor said. I was starting to _really_ hate this doctor guy, I mean, who did he think he was, telling me my baby sister might go to jail?

I stood up, momentarily forgetting my parents, and said, "Don't you have any feelings? Can you really stand there and say that my sister might go to jail, right after we almost lost her?"

"Emmett," started Mom.

I shook my head and stared at the doctor, his mouth gaped open and I continued to stare. Or maybe glare is a better word, I'm not sure, I'm not quite sure what I was doing, all I know is I was really pissed.

**EPOV:**

"_She's fine. –Em"_

"_Great, text me if you need anything. –E"_

"_Stop acting like a girl. –Em"_

I snapped my phone shut and smirked. Emmett was okay, if he was cracking jokes, he would be fine. I was still worried about Bella. I mean, what if they figured out she bought the coke, would they put her in jail? Or would they decide it was suicide attempt? Would she be sent away to an institution?

I continued to fret until I decided to go to the hospital to check up on Bella. Well, I was going to see Em, and if he was with Bella, then…all the more better. I drove to the hospital, the only hospital in Forks, and walked inside. I spotted Emmett yelling at a doctor and his mom and dad trying to calm him down.

I quickly crossed the waiting room and approached Emmett slowly. Emmett and I hadn't been friends for too long, but I felt like we had the kind of friendship where I could stand in between him and a doctor during a yelling match, and he'd back down. At least that's the way I felt about.

"Emmett," I tried to draw his attention to me.

His eyes slid to me before he went back to glaring at the doctor. Several people were staring at the doctor and Emmett, some with grins, some with frowns, some were laughing at the pair. I slowly got closer to the doctor and when Emmett could look at us both, I tried to talk him down from his anger.

"Emmett, what's wrong?" I asked quietly, feeling like if I talked too loud I would scare him.

Though I was completely wrong, no one could scare a pissed off Emmett, it just didn't happen that way. I hadn't ever seen Emmett like this, and if I hadn't had so much experience with guys bigger than me yelling at people smaller than them, I would have probably been scared, but I did have the experience and I wasn't that scared. I was actually pretty calm, I could tell Emmett was holding himself back to not hit the doctor, and the doctor had both his hands up in surrender.

I waited for Emmett to answer me and it was Renee, Emmett's mom, which answered, "Hello, Edward, Emmett just got a little angry about the way the doctor worded things. He mentioned that Bella might go to jail if she didn't attempt suicide, and Emmett got angry, and then the doctor continued to tell us that we wouldn't get to see Bella until she woke up and talked to the police."

I could hear the sarcastic undertone in her voice, and if I hadn't heard it before when she had been talking to Chief Swan, I wouldn't have been able to put my finger on it. To most people it sounded like she was having mixed emotions, but she was just as angry at the doctor as Emmett, though Renee had never been the one to throw a punch in a fight.

Chief Swan was standing next to Emmett, telling him to calm down in a low voice, and telling him to stop making a scene. Emmett's jaw was locked and I could tell that the Chief was making Emmett just a little bit more on edge than he already was. I was about to tell Chief Swan maybe it wasn't a good idea to keep talking when Emmett untensed and he turned from the doctor to look at me.

I could see from his eyes that he was still angry, and he was looking at me to get him out of here before he did something that would get him an assault charge. Maybe his eyes didn't say that, but I knew he was asking me for an out, some way for me to get him out of there with a legitimate excuse.

I wracked my brain before coming up with someone who could probably talk him down. I wasn't sure about their relationship, I wasn't sure how I felt about their relationship, and I wasn't sure about where they stood to each other, but I knew she could probably help. I pulled out my phone and called her. She picked up on the second ring and made a comment about me missing her.

"Hi, Rose, I was wondering if you could talk to Em for me, he's kind of…in a situation," I spoke lowly, so no one around could hear.

"Oh, okay, put him on," she conceded.

I handed the phone to Emmett and he looked at me in confusion before grabbing it. He pressed it to his ear and I saw his whole body relax as he heard Rose start talking to him. She didn't say much before Emmett was walking away from the group and talking to her. I walked to the doctor and noticed it was Mr. Green, one of Carlisle's friends.

Mr. Green was one of the doctors who usually worked behind the doors with patients and their needs, not the comforting the family type of doctor by far. I stuck out my hand and greeted him, "Dr. Green."

"Edward, nice to see you," he returned my shake.

"Where's the, um, usual doctor?" I asked, referring to the doctor that usually came out for him so he didn't have to do the comfort thing.

"Well, he's off today, and it was supposed to be slow, I was gonna call your father, but…well, you know," he shrugged

Carlisle hadn't had a day off in the last year, so they were giving him a week off so that he could come back and be a fresh new person. Right, like a week could refresh a person… Well… Anyways, Carlisle wasn't on call, and no one was going to call him, because he had been working there long enough and hard enough that they respected him enough to leave him alone.

I recommended that Dr. Green go back to his patients and he took the out I offered. I turned to Chief Swan and Renee and said, "Carlisle will be back tomorrow, he'll probably take over Dr. Green's case with Bella, because it's a…family kind of situation, so you won't have to talk to him again. I'd apologize for his behavior, but he's always like that and I doubt apologizing would make it any better."

I took a deep breath and was about to keep going when Chief Swan cut in and said, "Who was that, that got Emmett to back off?"

"Rosalie Hale, she's my cousin, and she's a really calming person, I figured she could help Emmett," I lied. Rose was far from a calming person, she probably could make you angrier and more on edge than anything. Jasper was the one that could calm you, but I figured he'd rather talk to his girlfriend than a guy he just met this year…

"That was good thinking, Edward," Renee praised.

"Thank you, Mrs. Swan," I offered a small smile.

She smiled at me, "You go on, help Emmett calm down, he has your phone anyways. Could you, maybe, take him home? Or to your place, or…how about to that, um, one boy's house that he's always going over to… Jake? No…Jasper, take him to Jasper's maybe?"

I nodded, "Okay, I'll take him to Jasper's house, Mrs. Swan, you two okay?"

Chief Swan nodded and Renee was the one to respond, "Yes, we're fine, you go on, we'll be here."

"Alright, it was…well, I'll see you later," I nodded to them, choosing not to say it was 'nice to see you'.

I walked out the sliding glass doors, several pairs of eyes following me out the door, and spotted Emmett sitting on a bench with my phone pressed to his ear still. He was nodding and listening as I walked up to him slowly. He held up a finger telling me to wait a minute, and after about five minutes he hung up and handed me my phone back.

He stood up and started to go back inside, but I grabbed his arm and turned him around, making him walk back to my car. "Where are we going? I've got to go back to my parents," Emmett protested.

"No, they're fine, Emmett, I'm taking you to Jasper's," I informed him.

"Are you sure they're okay? Did you leave them with that asshole of a doctor?" his voice took on a slightly edgier tone.

"No, I told him to go back to his patients, and I informed your parents that Carlisle will probably end up taking over for him. Dr. Green is really a…doctor that doesn't like to comfort the family, he just wants to get you better and send you home," I explained, pulling out my keys and letting go of Emmett's arm, sure he wasn't about to turn around and leave me in the parking lot.

Emmett got into my car and I started it up. The car ride was quiet as we drove; the only noise was the engine. As I pulled into Jasper's driveway I could hear loud rap music pouring from one of the upstairs rooms. I looked over at Emmett who was smirking. I pulled the keys from the ignition and asked, "Whose music do you think that is?"

"Rose's," he laughed.

"Really? I didn't think Rose listened to rap," I shrugged. I guess I didn't know much about Rose…

He didn't wait for me to get out of the car; instead he bounded up the porch steps and slipped inside. I stayed outside for a few moments, attempting to compose myself as I stood outside Jasper's house. I just needed to take deep breaths and everything would be alright. I couldn't do anything until tomorrow, anyways.

The next day I woke up to the sound of Carlisle moving around downstairs. I sprinted down the full staircase just as Carlisle was making his morning coffee. I panted slightly as I asked, "Mind if I join you at work today, Dad?"

It might have been the 'dad' thing, or maybe he already knew that I really wanted to know what had happened, but he said yes. I went back upstairs and got myself ready. By the time I made it back downstairs he was pulling on his coat. I grabbed mine and followed him out to his car. As he pulled out of the driveway he said, "I just want you to know, you have to be on your best behavior, Edward—"

"Dad, come on, I've been to the hospital a million times," I rolled my eyes.

"Yes, well, I know Bella is hurt, and I know you are worried about her, so I don't want you causing any disturbances, understand?"

"Yeah…yes, sir," I nodded.

It didn't take long to get to the hospital, but it felt like hours. When Carlisle pulled into the parking lot I was out of the car before he had unbuckled his seat belt. I wasn't helping with my jitteriness, but I couldn't stop glancing at the doors as I waited for Carlisle to let himself out of his car. Once inside he heaved a sigh and said, "Guess I'll go clock in, you can wait in my office or…just walk away."

I left during the middle of Carlisle's instructions and began walking down the hall where I knew Bella would be. There was a bit of commotion from the room at the end of the hall where an orderly stumbled out of the room with a girl yelling about him not bringing her a phone. I knew that voice. I'd been yelled at by that voice…

I was rounding the corner into her room before the orderly or anyone else could stop me. The room was white, sterile, and the only thing colored was the TV. Bella lay pale and fragile in the massive bed with the gown around her thin body. It had lambs on it and if there had been any other reason for her to be lying there in the gown, I would have laughed.

I expected to see her smile or give me a positive sign, but instead she glared at me and barked, "What are you doing here?"

"Uh, well, um… I came to check up on you?"

"Leave, Edward, I don't want to see you," she growled.

"W-what?"

"You heard me! Get out!"

"Bella, wait, what's the matter?"

The orderly was back then and was trying to get me to leave, but I wasn't going anywhere. Bella refused to look at me, and then a strong arm grabbed my shoulder and whirled me out of the room. Somehow, I knew it was Carlisle, but I didn't see him until he was pushing me into the chair in his office and shaking his head. "I told you not to cause any commotions."

"She didn't want to see me… D-did I do something wrong?" I looked up at Carlisle slowly.

"Edward, son," he clasped my shoulder with one of his hands. "Bella is going through a rough time right now, she is obviously confused and shouldn't even have seen you today. That was my fault. Now, she won't be going to jail, I have no idea where Dr. Green got that from. The substance wasn't found in her room, no one has admitted that she bought from them, and until I review her blood work, I won't know if she overdosed or what happened. I want you to call Emmett and the Swan's and tell them they can see Bella, can you do that for me?"

"Yeah, sure," I nodded. "I'll call Emmett."

"Thank you," Carlisle stood up and swung his doctor's coat over his shoulders. "I'm going to go make some rounds and I'll be back here soon, alright?"

"Yeah, um… Thanks, Carlisle," I looked up at him.

"You're welcome, Edward," he nodded and ducked out of the room.

**BPOV:**

_Holy shit, why in God's name is Edward here? I don't need to see him, no, what I need is to get out of here. I need Alice to drive me far, far away. Or maybe get Mike to spot me some money and buy myself a car so I won't have to catch any shit from her for this. I didn't take any more than usual… Just, well… Fuck, Mike must have given me some fucked up shit. God! Can the boy not do anything right?_

There was a knock at the door and then Dr. Cullen walked in. He read over his chart and sat down next to me in one of the uncomfortable chairs near the bed. He flipped through it and then looked up at me, "So, that was cocaine you snorted, Bella. It has worked its way through your blood stream now, and you should be fine. What happened was you had a tear in your nose from the drug and it entered your brain. It shut down your breathing and almost killed you. You almost died, Bella, do you understand that?"

"Yes," I bowed my head, hiding my face.

"I'm having someone call your family, they'll be here shortly. You're going to have to stay here for a few days, just so we can monitor your health. We'll have to go in surgically to fix the tear in your nose, for now, I'm going to advise you to take it easy, alright?"

"Yes," I answered softly.

"Get some rest, Bella," he left after that.

_I almost died. Okay…_

I'm not the kind of person that does soul searching and I definitely don't meditate or try to 'find myself' – whatever that means. But that…hearing that can change a person. Now, I'm not saying over night I stopped my ways, but I knew that things were going to have to change. I was not going to be the cocaine snorting, alcohol drinking, to-hell-with-life Bella Swan, anymore. Not to say I was going to go to Church, or anything of the such, but still…

I only got a good twenty minutes to myself before Renee and Charlie were there. Renee started off angry, then cried, then sat down quietly at my side while Charlie ranted. Emmett stood at the doorway, quietly watching the whole ordeal go down. I stayed silent and let Charlie get it out, I was planning to scream until I couldn't when I got out of here, he might as well, too. Finally, _finally_, Charlie and Renee excused themselves to go get coffee. Emmett waited until they were gone to walk fully into the room. He stared at me for some time before sitting down.

"I'm sorry," he finally whispered hoarsely.

"_You're_ sorry?" I questioned.

"Yeah, uh… Edward and I were at home before they were. You could have died and I was just going to leave and go hang out with Jasper. This is my fault."

"Emmett, you aren't the one you shoved a straw up my nose and made me do the coke, okay? This isn't your fault. If anything, I blame Edward," I rolled my eyes.

"Edward? How's this his fault?"

"Don't worry about it, Em, just know that it ain't gonna happen again. I'm staying away from drugs and everything else I use to do. I'm done with it… I almost _died_," it felt weird saying the weird. Like my mouth and brain didn't connect with the meaning fully.

Adults always say kids think their invincible, well… I think I actually thought that I would never, ever, in a million thousand years, die from this. I thought maybe a bus accident, or a train running me over, or a dinosaur, or something completely ludicrous, but… Coke? I had been doing it my whole life, how could that be my demise? Thinking it over now, I should have known this was a bad idea. I should never have done that first line back at the orphanage. I should have never let Lucy Thompson show me how to cut without hurting myself. I should have never let any of those boys touch me without knowing if they liked me for my body or my personality.

I really fucked things up.

"You're alive, Bella… Don't go getting all depressed, okay? You ever feel like you're getting weak, just tell me and we'll go out and do something. You don't need to do this to feel good, okay?"

"You're a good brother, Em," I sighed, grabbing his hand in mine. He smirked and nodded. "I know I am."

**PREVIEW FOR NEXT CHAPTER:**

"_She's flat lining, page Dr. Cullen!" the nurse shouted._

**That's all you get… Review, please! =]**


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